The Overgrown Adolescent Male’s Guide to Proposing at a Band of Heathens Concert.

The Overgrown Adolescent Male’s Guide to Proposing at a Band of Heathens Concert.

As told by an Overgrown Adolescent Male who Proposed to his Amazing Girlfriend at a Band of Heathens Concert, and got a YES 🙂

Step 1. Have No Plan.

Step 2. Have a LOT of Faith.

Step 3. Be Intentional and Committed and KNOW that it WILL be special, some how, some way, because the Love of Your Life deserves it.

Step 4. Wing it and Go!

Good enough?? Cool. Follow these easy steps, and your proposal too, will be Awesome!

Actually, these steps are the ones I took last Sunday night, but it was’t quite that easy.

Along with a gut-load of anxiety, plenty of fears that I’d blown the surprise, and a bunch of divinely orchestrated circumstances, I can only say that I had a lot of Angels looking out for me that night.

Showing up in St. Louis with a plan to propose was just the start. I had a ring in a box in my suitcase. We had an hour or so at the hotel before dinner. I wanted to make this happen at the concert, but didn’t have any idea how to go about it. (This is my first time and all.)

Every small thing I did, felt like a huge giveaway of the surprise, to me.

At the hotel, I had to get the ring into my pocket. I had to check it every few seconds it seemed, to make sure it was still there.

At dinner, I was on edge.

When we got to the venue, and Lindsay was away for just a minute, I boldly asked the attention of Harley, the soundman, right in the middle of his work to get things setup for the show. He was so gracious and got on-board right away. Wow!

He offered to show me the set-list as soon as he got it.

Geeze, what a bunch of knots my stomach were in!

Every sentence we discussed with the other fans was a blur, as I waited to hear back from him, and praying that things would work out.

He walked behind me and gave me a wink to follow him. I flat out walked away from Lindsay and even told her, that I had to talk to Harley real quick. Ahh! Why didn’t I say I was getting a drink or something?!?!?

He showed me the list of songs. Bumblebee immediately caught my eye and he asked, “Do you want us to pause for the cause?”

How cool is that!

So with the song in my mind, a ring in my pocket and literally front row spots, right at the stage, I went back and tried to act “Normal”.

That’s just when Gordy (one of the lead singers) walked passed and whispered “Good Luck” to me, as he went up on stage!

The first few songs rattled my crazy brain, as I waited for Polaroid. I was PUMPED, and the guys sounded awesome. I knew the next tune was my cue to make a move.

{The reason I’m telling this story is so that I’ll have it to remember someday down the road. I also want to express the simpleness, the minimalism, the lack of my preparation. And then show the contrast of how full and rich and loaded with goodies the experience was, all out of divine blessings. }

So we happened to be friends through FB with another Heathens fan, Vicki, who had the table right up front. She had a photographer friend too. And she was running video. And then the Corkery’s were fun and friendly and sharing the space also.

So as the song Bumblebee started, I stepped around Lindsay and grabbed her hand…

She said quickly “Aaron, I don’t want to dance right now, there’s a lot of people watching!”

I felt calm and clear, and said, “That’s Okay, I don’t want to dance right now either.”

That’s when I knelt down and she immediately knew what I was up to.

The band was into the song, The crowd had noticed my move, People were cheering, and I tried to speak through the volume.

“Lindsay, you’re my best friend. Your faith and your support, your acceptance and energy are a true inspiration to me. Your presence in my life is an absolute treasure and blessing and more than I deserve. I want you to know how deeply I love you. I want to share and create our spectacular lives together forever. Lindsay, will you marry me?”

But she couldn’t hear me 🙂

Anyway, she said YES. And I got up, and kissed her, and then danced just a little bit.

(really listen to this tune, it is soo, sooo goood!)

The Band kept rockin’! The crowd cheered when all the guys congratulated us from onstage. I enjoyed the rest of the show, with a lot less anxiety, and a brand new fullness of connection with my fiance.

Throughout the rest of the evening, it became clear that we were given awesome gifts of love from all the people around us. Without Harley’s help and openness, it couldn’t have been so smooth. Without Gordy, Ed, John, Seth and Trevor, it wouldn’t have been so publicly celebrated. Vicki and Kevin and Candace and Chris all got pictures and videos and hugs. The band also just started offering USB drives of the entire show, at the end of the show, so we were able to get audio of the whole thing, and I’m listening to it right now 🙂

Anyone who knows me or has followed this blog for a long time, knows how special the Band of Heathens is to me. I truly feel that their music, their presence in my life was dropped right out of the ether by Angelic forces at powerful moments in my life. This continues that tradition in a BIG WAY!

First of all THANKS to Lindsay for all that she has meant to me, it’s more than I am capable of expressing here. Thanks to EVERYONE who congratulated us this week, it’s made us both feel extremely loved. Thanks again to the fellas in the band. The were just soo accommodating, so willing and open to help me out. And we had a blast talking with them afterward too. We’ll be going to their shows as long as they keep playing! Also the fans and friends of the Heathens. And deeply, sincerely, unabashedly, thanks be to God, for proving without a doubt in my mind, that real love and real miracles are possible in our real everyday, regular-people lives.

Even in the life of an overgrown adolescent male.


Aaron Nichols

Here are a couple more of my Blog Posts ’bout the Heathens:

I Give Up – Double Down Weekend News

Legacy of Heathens

My Roadtrip Blog – BoH Post

Do Touch that Dial!

Do you have pre-set radio stations in your car? I don’t.

I’m sure that I used to.

I remember waay back in High School, I had an assortment of Rock, Alternative Rock, and even Classic Rock buttons to choose from on the CD player in my truck.

And I think through my twenties I probably did too.

It may be that I’m older, it may be that through car troubles and pulling the battery cables often a couple years ago, I gave up on keeping certain stations programmed in. Heck, I have no idea if the clock is even right. I just don’t care!


I scan the stations. I don’t have favorites anymore. I sometimes listen to songs from my phone (Band of Heathens, Always, {Seeing them Sunday!! YAY!!!}), I like NPR and Christian Stations too. Overall, I have a wider variety of audio that I’m willing to hear as I drive the backroads between Ottawa and Princeton, Kay Ess with Roxy riding along.

So, on a drive to town this morning, I heard two stations in a row reveal the secrets of what it means to be a Real Man. I learned a LOT!

I thought it was quite odd that I heard one opinion, then flipped to another station and they happened to be covering the same issue. You can decide how they match up.

Station one was talking about troubles in family life. They were talking about problems with wives, and children too. They said that the role of the Real Man, was to be a leader in the household. Providing support, guidance and keeping the ship on course is what we’re called to do.  They discussed hard issues concerning the attitudes and behaviors within the family. A challenge was issued to the listeners: Rise above, work through these things, and rely on higher powers, when the going gets tough.

Then I hit the arrow button, on the radio and heard this

Station two: If you want to prove you’re a real man, Be into Football, Beer and TV. Period.

I switched the radio back.

Truth is, they both had a point. Both contain ideas that are part of our real lives. But when we fill our ears with information; either in a serious, or a fun, comical way, it can severely affect the way we think. And how we think, affects how we act. And so on…

I’m glad that I don’t have my radio stuck on any one station anymore. I like hearing all the opinions, so then I can decide for myself what feels best to me.

And someday, maybe I’ll get a chance to become a Real Man.


Aaron Nichols

Nope, Not a God-Thing…

“It’s a God-Thing” was the comment, but I had to disagree…

I was talking about my week, about serendipity, about coincidence, about moment after moment lately, that have come along at perfect instances.

I was really digging into my experiences lately, during our open-discussion Sunday School Class.. and well, I just had to point out that saying these quinky-dinks, that have showered my life lately, are “God-Things”, just didn’t work for me too well anymore…

To point a few out, you can refer to last week’s blog, about my activities, about experiences that I actually had. These are not thoughts, ideas, dreams or desires. Lately, it’s been about ACTION. And Action produces Results!

These actions: ones that have come to me out of the clear blue ether, or that I reached out and grabbed, or were invitations that I accepted, have proven to weave together perfectly.

It’s just TOO PERFECT.

I am Not Complaining 🙂

And saying that these events are not “God-Things” isn’t a full truth either. I do believe they have been.

But that description, to me, points to a minority, points to few, points to the exception.

Here’s the problem. Lately, I’ve experienced too many coincidences, serendipities, and God Things for them to be the exceptions to my otherwise regular life…

They’ve just been jamm-packed, stacked, piled-up and toppling around all over the place.

If these are “God-Things” and they’ve taken over my life, then what are the other “Things” supposed to be? Are they “Me Things” or “Normal-Life Things”? And what happens when they go away? And what if God finds out that I’m just as broken-down and busted and raggedy in my thoughts and actions, as ever, and he decides to send me some un-fun God-Things into my days?? What Then??

During our Sunday School discussion, it was mentioned about Eyes to See, and Ears to Hear… and that helped me get a little closer to understanding.

Yeah, that’s feeling more true. I feel it like a bell-ringing clear, deep inside.

Really, my point is this: Everything is a “God-Thing,” there’s nothing that’s Not.

I remember that an awesome mentor and teacher of mine, Rabbi Daniel Lapin said once, “In the Hebrew language, there is no word for coincidence.”

So, what changed then? Did I start to get what I never had before? No.

Did I do something right, and get a reward from the Big Guy? NO.

Did I play Jesus in a skit, because I have a biblical-looking beard, some wavy-curl hair and then bawl on-stage in front of people, and that made Easter extra special for me, like never before?? Well, Yes, but that doesn’t entitle me to didly, in the way of divine favors.

I think it’s that I’m lucky enough to be growing into a new awareness. To be looking through New Eyes, to be hearing through New Ears… and all the stuff is just the same as always.

My experiences lately, could have been looked at with my old eyes, heard with old ears.

I could see something completely different in each encounter, in each action, in each exchange between people, and businesses and yes even my Church.

There are two sides to each of these amazing “God Things”, there is the angle that clearly shows new problems, hard work, difficult emotions, fears, embarrasment, the recedence of my hairline, instead of the few curls of my comb-over 🙂 These things can all be looked at from a different, a negative, and a power-draining perspective…

They could easily be described as the Victim’s favorite word:


Or I can choose to remind myself, in the moment that:

Everything is a “God-Thing,” there’s nothing that’s Not.

And just Go With It!

Own the next step. Be Confident that another serendipity is being created instantly underfoot. Look Up and move forward and feel the breeze, the exhilleration and the fear, but do it anyway.

To wrap up, I have been on a high lately, and I truly believe that nothing around me is earth-shatteringly different, except that my perspective is.

Keeping this perspective is a Commitment I’m making to myself.

And just like all Commitments, it must constantly be renewed.

And bruising these Commitments, challenging them, and making it hard on us is an “Enemy-Thing” that we do have the power to overcome.

Good thing is… I’ve got Help 🙂

The Best.


Aaron Nichols

Just Do Thru

Because I understand something powerful about Fear. That’s Why.

I just realized that this week of my life, has been absolutely chock full of
Fearful Experiences. And when you face them head on, they dissipate, dissolve, turn into a fine mist and evaporate into the ether…

Starting Monday, I walked into my first day of a new job doing graphics work.

Tuesday, I had a powerful meeting with my former employer of 10 years.

Wednesday, I showed up at Men’s Bible Study woefully unprepared for an extensive role in the Maundy Thursday Service at Church, and fumbled around in front of the guys during our practice.

Today, I arrived mentally present at the YP Summit and sat in the front row of every class, and also forced myself to engage with each presenter, during and after class, including a founder of a Kansas company that has upended their entire industry, and is doing billion dollar business.

Tonight, I stood in front of our congregation, with the Men of our Church, and played the role of Jesus in a skit showing the conversation at the Last Supper. It moved me.

I was tearful in front of many.

Tomorrow, I make a big decision in my career life, as it relates to coaching.

All throughout this week, I’ve had other little moments of work or activity that has kept me moving and engaged from early in the day to late at night, and there have been tons of conversations woven into it all.

A few years ago, if you’d told me about how this week went, what I did, and where I was at in my life. I’d have said you were insane. Truly.

However, This is LIFE. It’s Livin’ Baby!

Here are some actions you can ‘takeaway’ from today’s blog. Implement them for real. In tiny ways, each day. They will make a Big Impact!

Listen then Say Yes.

Feel the Fear, and Do it Anyway.

Just Do Thru.

And… Have fun with it, when possible 🙂

(that’s a short working list)

I don’t know if you turn and face your fears head on?

I have more of my own that I could apply this to.

I will use the help of a coach to remind me of my God-given Resolve and just Commit to making happen, what I’m guided to create. And it will be done.


Aaron Nichols