I am big talk, here on the blog. I throw out all kinds of ideas, the junk drawer of my mind, dumped out on this screen. You know that. I pretend to be steeped in grandiosity, and I look up words, with my spellchecker, and thesaurus, and play like a writer. I do.
It’s kinda like a one way conversation. I do a lot of spewing and spouting. I click, clack, paddywack and give the dog a bone. I don’t even know what all I’ve said here on the blog, or what I will say, until it comes out, line by line. Usually, like tonight, I must play around, avoid, distract and waste away time, until I finally have to get serious. Then action begins.
See, action is a lot different than talking. It does take action, to talk like this. I could skip the whole thing and be sleeping right now, at 2:23a.m.
Still this is allllllll talk. I will admit, that last week’s post, about the wisdom of the Frogleg Lady, was well received. I saw several responses, and felt like I did a good job of typing out a topic that people liked and saw value in. It was my birthday as well. Extra reason, to feel the love of the little audience here at weirdforgood. Truly, much appreciated!
Yet, when at 4:30p.m. last Friday afternoon, THE Frogleg Lady walked into our restaurant with her friendly husband, I greeted them just as normally as I always would. They smiled and talked and joked and requested AGAIN, that we bring in some Froglegs to serve as appetizers, or a meal. It was great to see them both.
I didn’t however, ACTually, Act, and tell them, that they had been the topic of a popular blog I had written. I didn’t tell her, that she had inspired me to be more bold and confident, and make certain requests, so that I too, could begin to ‘get what I want out of life.’
Nope, none of that.
I did think about it, when they first got there. I had baby butterflies in my stomach, wondering what her reaction would be, if I was to tell her. And then, how would I do so. ‘How would I come across?’ These are the very sort of inner-self questions, that she has put aside it seems. I was being just normal ole me, passive and friendly, and yet not 100% honest. I was talking the talk, but not walking the walk…
ACTING on this stuff, I don’t always do. In fact, I wonder sometimes, If I ever do. See really, like a lot of people out there, I must have an inner belief, that Disney’s magic fairy or genie or godmother or millionaire, is going to just show up sometime and grant me wonderful wishes of my dreams, because my poor Cinderella self, has been toiling away so long, with such little celebrity and celebration over my work.
In fact, I even, deeeep down, wish that this blog, had thousands upon thousands of readers, and would throw off profits and packaged products, just from my wild-minded wordplay. Sure! I’ve been at this for years now! Surely it is going to be ‘discovered’ and take off like a rocket! Propelling Lindsay and I into some quasi-form of wealth beyond our dreams. Surely, this success is going to show up from out there in the dark abyss and be felt right here at our newly crafted golden home.
See that little story is pretty honest. Kinda sorta sadly true. Ridiculous in so many ways, but I wonder if I’m not the only one, who thinks their hidden talent will someday be discovered and blessed with fortune and fame? I think I’m not the only one. What is the truth then? Is there value in this moment? Without fortune, without fame, does this moment make sense? Is that the real reason I do this? It cannot be. I cannot only do it for dollars that don’t currently flow. There are none. That is like clocking into work, with no paycheck coming.
I do this and talk like this and type like this, because I want this outlet. My voice likes this place. Although, so often it won’t show up, until the last minute and keeps me groggy the next day through, I must believe that it is an important thing, or else I wouldn’t do it.
So, why wouldn’t I be jumping for joy at the chance to show the Frogleg Lady, the post I wrote about her? Wouldn’t I want to at least spread such a personal message to the one who inspired it? I guess that old ‘should’ word comes to mind. I ‘should’ want to do that, right? I ‘shouldn’t’ be scared to do it, right? Well, I was. I am. I type and click here, in the darkest hour of night, then click publish and go to bed.
I don’t sit with people in person, while they read my words. I don’t watch their eyes and expressions and lack of interest, or excitement or confusion. I especially don’t usually type about someone else so specifically. So these are the chosen excuses for why I didn’t ACT, in that moment.
I may never be an ACTor. I may never ACTually, say the things that begin a risky conversation. I may always slide a tangent, and skip adjacent to the issues at hand. Last week, the ending quote talked about not holding back, and yet I did.
The next day however, I was in a meeting. A meeting of folks I trust and love. I didn’t hold back then. I spoke my mind. I went on and on and on. I did ACTually release the mob of thoughts and opinions I had held back… later on, I regretted and worried. I felt that I had said too much. I pushed too hard. I wore out any chance I had at progress, with my tone, with my words.
These words are funny things my friends. They mean everything. They are all that can translate the eons of time and space. The word is eternal in a way. And yet it’s vapor. It dissipates into invisibility almost as fast as it arrives. Our words can be worthless. They can again and again, point out our lacks.
I am that, I am hardly anything, but words, at times. Will I get up and move, will I extend myself into deliberate action? I don’t know. I hope so. I will always want to, it seems. It seems that I want these words to pave and create pathways for my body to follow. I must want myself to move in the direction that my mouth points me. I must be careful not to follow it to the dark places, of which I speak too often.
There are people tonight out there, who feel and want and wish, a difference in their lives. They want their inside desires to be discovered and developed. They want something quite different from what they see right in front of them. I seem to notice, that some hints show up, as faith, and persistence and never giving up. It doesn’t come from the fairy god-mother millionaire genie. It must come from within ourselves only. All other ideas are fruitless. We must commit, we must decide, to make it happen, decide to act, then follow through. Again, my big talk shows up.
When again tomorrow, I play the same role again, and get the same results again, I ask you to forgive me. I ask you to see my example, as one of the many, the ones who think and talk, but don’t work hard enough, to really make it happen. Then, my story, will have another level of value to you, and for that, I could give thanks, not worry, that all these words are worthless.
In life, “nice and polite” gets trampled by “committed and competent.” – Dusan Djukich
Some people actually think that productivity is a feeling. If you are waiting around to feel the right way, you will never get anything done. You will be in your head forever.
People hide behind feelings. Feelings cover up fear.
Waiting for the “right” feeling to show up or the “wrong” feeling to go away is a game the timid and unproductive play. It’s a waste of life.
Productivity is actually generated out of commitment and sincerity. Yes, we are talking integrity. Integrity is follow through.
If you have some type of goal that you say is important to you, you will define the necessary required actions to achieve it. You will also place unmovable deadlines on each action.
Your commitment and sincerity will drive the actions home to completion.
People don’t respect people who won’t choose and then follow through. It looks weak because it is weak.
Ignore feelings or lack of them.
Stop using feelings as an excuse.
Integrity is the lynchpin of productivity.
Author: Straight-Line Leadership