Bringing Down the House… Literally.

Or Else!

I remember clearly sitting at Poncho’s in Ottawa, Kansas, having a lunch with Mother, when she was describing a highly charged emotional topic. We’d talked about the details of her plans and how things had better start moving forward, and how this issue was really important to her! In fact, it ended with the quote “Or Else!”

Honestly, I thought, I this was just a little overboard, and possibly kooky, since we were talking about her kitchen remodeling project… and being a guy who doesn’t particularly, care about the subtle difference between a speckled-beige or spotted-taupe colored floor tile… I said, “Or Else What?!”

I could see in this moment that my dear Mother’s world was focused intensely on this project. She had put tons of thought into what she wanted the outcome to look like. She’s had it, with 25 years looking at the same kitchen and she wanted to see something else. Something New. Something updated and fresh. A Change!

Just because I view her kitchen as a fully functioning, and nicer than mine, space that has made meals and memories for a loooong time, it’s not good enough for her anymore. Even though, to me, it’s a great kitchen in a great house, that I would be perfectly happy with, she’s not willing to not try to make it better. Even though, to me, it may be unnecessary, there is something inside all of us, that drives us to improve our worlds.

Well… I can respect that!

I can even show you, here in this blog, how I too, have had that burning, intense desire to make something change in my life… ‘OR ELSE!’

Mom’s doing a kitchen remodel. I’m doing a life remodel: Same things.

We can be in a perfectly good place, that is functioning accordingly, and has served us well for a long time… in our lives. Doesn’t mean we don’t want to see improvements. We can have what other people think, they would like to have. Doesn’t mean we won’t want to see what else we can achieve. We can be sincerely grateful for our old lives, that brought us to this point, be truly thankful, and yet demolish them, and move forward into the new.

That’s the thing about a remodel. It ain’t pretty.

You gotta tear things apart. You gotta make a mess. You gotta break and bust and destroy the things that were faithful and useful and served you well, for so many years. You have to make it all look worse, before you get to make it look better.

Funny isn’t it. Mother’s kitchen has actually looked worse through the course of the makeover, than when she started. We’ve had family gatherings standing on plywood floors. We used a sheet of plywood instead of a countertop to serve Christmas dinner. There were decisions to discuss halfway through the project that seemed to be foundational to the whole thing working out. She had started before every detail was buttoned-up, how dare her! Even now, with the new cabinets installed, the updated sink and dishwasher and countertops and flooring and lighting and other stuff that I don’t even know about; she’s missing the new tile backsplash. It’s just the ripped up sheetrock and bits of construction adhesive, that held those old ones in place so long. It doesn’t look good… yet.

Why are we willing to make something ugly, in pursuit of something prettier. If it’s the look, we’re after, that is a little confusing, right? Wouldn’t it be better to not change anything, and at least keep it looking decent, than to tear it up, spend time, energy and money, to make it look crappy? Then finally rebuild the whole thing?

I don’t know why exactly, but it is in our innate nature. We are human beings and YES, this little example of a kitchen makeover is a perfect model of the Heroes Journey. We all have something inside us, that drives us to improve. We are willing to sacrifice, and pay a price and make things look ugly, before we can overcome and return, looking and feeling better than ever. I have been on a major personal life remodeling project since right around 3 years ago. It was 3 years ago that I sat here in this same house, and agonized over the thoughts of leaving my job of 10 years at Hasty Awards. It was fine, there was nothing in particular, wrong with it. It had served me well for that whole time… yet something was just eating me alive inside… and I felt like I had to leave… Or ELSE!

After the initial rush and well wishes all around, I hit the road, and drove the western states of our America. I camped on mountains, and by the Pacific. I blogged, and shared. I cried and laughed and missed people, and became a hobo. The life remodeling project began with big applause all around… Until, it got ugly.

Yes, just like all Heroes Journey’s the changes lead to destruction, and battles and loss. The death of me. The dark night of the soul. The old ways becoming obsolete as I moved forward and chose new ways of being.

You caught me. There is still lots undone. You can criticize me. My projects are unfinished. My tiles are missing. There is raw plywood, with splinters and stains, where a nice laminate spread out before. I am rickety and temporary and slapped together and exposed. Not everything is cleaned up. I still have decisions to make. I started before I had it all figured out,  how dare me. You get to point your finger, and be right, I’m a mess. I will not rebuke that statement. But I am in a process. There is an end goal in mind. I have good help. I am working.

That I will FIGHT you on.

No One, Fights Harder Than Me. No One, Get’s Uglier, than Me. No One, Not No One, is in more awareness of the status of this project, and the work to be done, Than Me.

I got proof aplenty. I didn’t remodel my kitchen. I tore the whole damn thing to the ground. I ripped the foundation out. I dug deeper than that. I got down to bed-rock.

I will go deeper than you will go… any day, any time, guaranteed. I am proving that right now. I hear your criticism. It’s dust in my storm. I destroy and I rebuild, and it is hard. All of it is hard. All of it, has a purpose. I used to live in a straw house, with layer upon layer of the same ol stucco and paint, that was loose and flaky. It was a sham. I was too.

During the teardown, it fell quickly. The cornerstones of this new life are here now. A relationship with God: Paramount. A divinely appointed Marriage, of Commitment and Togetherness and Communication: Structural Integrity. A Sobriety, a discipline, a daily discipline, stability to maintain. There is a whirlwind of activity at all times. It sometimes involves throwing out more of the junk in my way. Releasing more of the old, that I thought was already gone. This week, it was the approval others. What will it be next week? I don’t know, but I do care.

We all are tigers who’ve been raised among sheep. We all are more powerful, than our environment shows us to be. There is something inside of you, that awakens, when I sear this screen with a scorching hot sentence. It’s the tiger, the hero, the warrior, in you.

You’ve had the thoughts, that things are okay, they’re fine, but you’re not going to take it anymore, without trying something NEW, a reinvention of your world… “Or Else!”

It is Holy Week. It is Easter. It is time to look at the Peace of Christ. What Peace? On Good Friday, the day of crucifixion, do you think there was peace in the mind of our Lord and Savior? I doubt it. There was pain and suffering and an actual demolition of body and of a frail human mind. But he shows us the utmost, the almighty, the ultimate: Resurrection. His soul, was sent to liberate us. To remodel an old system. To bring a new covenant to our world. Our world today, in our hearts. In our souls, in eternity.

It’s ugly. It’s painful. It’s the ultimate of all Hero’s Journeys. He came for You. He destroyed his life, for yours. You get the shiny new version. You don’t have to die on a cross, he did.

This is how God made us. To see beyond the ugly, to see beyond the pain and suffering, to know in our hearts that it is better to tear down the good, in order to build the great. It is not pretty… have I made that point clear yet? It is, in the end, worth every tear.

Is the makeover, the point of it all? Is the nice new countertop, and slick new sink, the purpose of this journey? It doesn’t seem to be. The knowing that we’ve begun down the road toward better, the pitfalls and the development of new skills and new muscles is satisfying enough. To see that the project is not yet done, but that we Are working on it… That is enough. To know that we didn’t give up, before we even tried. That is the point. Being on the journey is the enough. The final destination, the showroom, only gives us pause for a moment to recognize our hard work, and to share it with the world. Then it’s back into the fray. Back into a new journey, in a new game, to play hard again.

I’ve heard a criticism this week, through the grapevine. I invite you to share this post, let everyone read it. Including my critics… Make sure they read the quote below from Theodore Roosevelt… AND, please, if you’ve ever considered me a friend, or family, or someone that has meant anything in your life. Watch this movie, Finding Joe. It explains alot, about what drives me, and what drives You, to create something amazing in your own life, right now. Be your own hero. We need You to… “Or Else!”

Sincerely,

Aaron Nichols

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

.Theodore Roosevelt

“Citizenship in a Republic,”
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

Want to Jump in on the next REAL discussion about a Remodel of our Life!

You’re invited to join the next weirdforgood hangout, and engage in our online workshop – you’ll need a free Google+ account, 45minutes to work with us, at 5:30 CST. You need a device with a camera & headset/microphone. If you can Skype, you can do this, (it’s actually really easy  ) Then email me at aaron@truenorthffc.com – before Tuesday – I’ll send you the hangout invite through Google+ when we start.

Check out all of my video workshop Hangouts here, to get a feel for it. Join us if you dare!

Weirdforgood Hangout – 9 – Never Too Late – Goals vs. Games

Wow, these Hangout discussions keep blowing my mind! Thanks to the dynamic input of Michael and Melissa, we’re bringing you some great substance of discussion here on the web! Take a cool mental dip into your pool of potential and put down the junk food of the web for the next 30 minutes. We’ve produced another great Weirdforgood Hangout video! And coming soon, is a podcast version of these discussions as well!

And we ask for your Feedback too! Leave a comment below!

Our launching point is In My Next Life from last week’s blog.

With Aaron Nichols, Melissa Ford & Michael Wright

You’ll want to have a notepad handy this week!

Another great discussion that we invite you to check out!

You can read more about me, Aaron Nichols on my about page

or Melissa Ford’s website – http://www.empoweredparentingsolutions.com

or Micheal Wright’s Blog – http://www.fatherofone.com

Enjoy!

To be part of next week’s Hangout – Email Me at aaron@truenorthffc.com, each week I send out an invitation email with the details on how to get setup. (It’s pretty easy) then join us at 5:30 CST with 45 minutes to get in depth and have a fun – REAL discussion!

In My Next Life!

Better late than never, right?

So this writing today, has been bumped and put off and shuffled to the back of my mind. So what. I could beat on myself for not having done it earlier, or that I’m a procrastinator, or that I could ‘never be’ some certain type of person, because I don’t get things done early, or even usually on time.

What does that really have to do with anything? It’s the DOING that does count.

See, the little trick, is that once we’ve passed the threshold of when it was ‘supposed to’ be done, or how it ‘should be’, we just forget the thing all together. Instead of late, we choose never. Too Often.

I’ve heard people say things like: ‘In my next life’ or ‘In a perfect world’ or even the oft’ used ‘someday’ to describe something we’d like to do, but probably never will. Somehow though, we don’t want to admit that it really live in the land of ‘Never’.

Too final. Too bleak. Too hopeless. So let’s say… “In my next life’… HA! Kinda silly idn’t it.

I do this stuff all the time. If my physical world was as full of action and accomplishments and discipline and results, as my mental picture of my life… well, that’d really be something spectacular!! You have no idea the imagination and thought I have invested into these sort of daydreams. It’s not all mental though, I’ve even drawn pictures, and searched online and printed pictures… I’ve made Vision Boards!! Yeah! That makes things happen!!

Nope.

It’s in the action. It’s in the pounding of these keys. A sentence shows up, not by pondering the words, but by typing them. Our ‘someday’ goals will show up, not by considering and meditating on them, but by doing a small action Today, in pursuit of that goal. And I’m reminded by my mentors, like Steve Chandler and John Groberg, to not make it a goal, but a Game. We like to play games. We enjoy being in the competition, and playing and being creative in the moment of a game. The pursuit of a ‘goal’ sounds like work, and most of us have heard generations before, complain about work. And talk about how tough things are with work. And how exhausted they are from it, or how glad they’ll be when they don’t have to work anymore… so when given the chance to do more work?? We skip it.

A game is more fun however. We can play to win, or we can learn from a loss. We can see ourselves improving along the way. We can measure results by the score. We get to be on a team. We share in our victories, console each other in defeat. Gamesmanship entices our inner-child. Hard Work, with a stern, furrowed brow, is something we avoid when we can. And the sad part of this truth, is that our jobs, or what we do to earn a living, is just something to bring the elusive freedom of a comfortable life.  Rarely, in a j-o-b situation do are we really trying to grow as a person. Rarely, are we trying to rise up and become the best of ourselves for the common cause. Rarely, because we are an employee. We want to ‘get through’ instead of ‘give-it-all’.

So let’s try something new. Make it a Game. Make anything a GAME!

Our work life, our relationships, our spiritual walk, our financial life! Make it a game! Pick ahead of time the rules of play, that you would like to follow, be creative, make them up. Then decide ahead of time, what you will call victory, what you will consider defeat. However you choose to define this, will define your effort too. Make it hard to win, you’ll play hard. Make it easy, you’ll fritter away your talent and true ability.

I had a conversation this week, before our volleyball match, with the head of the opposing team. We’ve played against each other several times, I see him around town, a good guy. We started to discuss that neither one of us had been in athletics growing up. He shared first that he was scared to get involved in sports as a kid. Me too, I said. I recalled how even in middle school, and especially high school, I knew that I had not been into sports as a very young boy, so I was behind. I didn’t know already how it all worked, like the other guys did.

I had missed my chance. At 14 years old, I got these ideas that it was too late, to try. I should just give up, and go find an easier game to play. So I did. It was beer parties in fields and country cruising for me during high school. I didn’t think I had it in me, to become a player. To learn a sport. To train and work hard, and develop muscles to win. So I skipped the whole thing altogether. I chose a game I knew I could win. Get drunk. That’s an accomplishment!! Yeah!

Anyway, it’s fun now, at 34 years old, to be on a volleyball team with my wife and friends. It’s fun to move my body and see what it can do. It’s fun to feel that victory, and sucks to lose too. I’m glad I didn’t wait longer to give this a try. In the last couple years, there have been several things like this that I do now, that I used to think were out of my ability or skill level or, ‘I’m just not that kind of person.’

Right.

I can be any kind of person I want to be. It may not be easy at first. But it is NEVER, no NEVER, really truly absolutely NEVER too late to begin.

Choose the new rules of your life today. Make it a game. What can you accomplish in the next hour, that would be something you’ve been putting off for a loooong time. It’s a phone call, it’s a message to someone you love. It’s world changing to you, and to them. Then what else? What game can you construct that would inspire you, and fire you up to want to win? What is something that you have in your ‘someday’ list, (meaning never) that you want to move into your ‘I’m playing toward’ list?

A few moments ago, I thought this post was going to have to wait till the afternoon. Wait till I knew what I really wanted to share this week. It’s been a truly happy week. Meaning it’s been full of all the emotions of life. I knew this week that I was alive. I could feel it. Through smiles of nephews, to frustrations and anger, to full warmth and joy and surprise. All these things for me, must add up to happiness.

I was stuck yesterday, with that thought. What is happiness? Have I ever been happy? Will I ever be happy? I have such a roller coaster of emotions all the time. It’s true. Do I only want the peaks of that track? Do I want to tell others, that ‘Yes, I’m Happy!’ meaning there is no struggle, no hardship, no drama in my life? Just the peaks, no valleys? Nope. I don’t think so. Right now, I will dig deep, while sitting in my car, by the gravestone of my father, and my uncle, and grandmother, and grandad… I’ll just talk and ask questions… and hear this message:

  • Being in this life is happiness… From their perspective, all of what we experience here is beautiful. It’s all part of the plan. It’s all just a big ole game, and it doesn’t last very long either. So don’t quit in the middle, or stop too long to cry, just keep playing and enjoy it the best you can. You have more help and support and talent and ability than you can possibly dream of.

It’s never to late to figure that out 🙂

Sincerely,

Aaron Nichols

Let’s make up some Games, and Start again Fresh Right Now!

You’re invited to join the next weirdforgood hangout, and engage in our online workshop – you’ll need a free Google+ account, 45minutes to work with us, at 5:30 CST. You need a device with a camera & headset/microphone. If you can Skype, you can do this, (it’s actually really easy  ) Then email me at aaron@truenorthffc.com – before Tuesday – I’ll send you the hangout invite through Google+ when we start.

Check out all of my video workshop Hangouts here, to get a feel for it. Join us if you dare!

From Steve Chandler:

     I love what John Groberg writes about
the difference between games and goals.

     The problem with allowing your goals
to remain goals is that they always have a
worrisome, almost life-threatening quality
to them. How serious they are!!!

     And therefore they are thought about
by the most fearful part of your brain. It
sends a chill wind through your mind just
thinking about your big goal. How can you
joyfully create from THAT space?

    How can you have huge energy and
innovation from that overly serious approach?

   Here’s what John Groberg says (and
you can find him here: http://www.spiralupyoga.com/)

1) The personality resists goals, but not games (if designed right).

2) The nature of the soul is joy and playing games for the sake of playing.  Observe young children to see the nature of the soul when it comes to goals vs. games.  Challenge = Fun to the soul.  Challenge = To be avoided, to the personality.

3) The Personality, when too much in control, is a sore loser.  A good game is fun to play regardless of how things appear (to the personality) to turn out.  My well-being is never at stake, I’m just playing a game that I might win or lose.  I’m playing a game because I’m coming from innate well-being, not because I’m trying to get to it.

Steve

 

Weirdforgood Hangout – 8 – Fishy Out of Water & CONTEXT is King!

Our floppy fishy story, leads us deep into a discussion about the ‘CONTEXT’ of the world we live in. Did you know that the CONTEXT you perceive the world to be, is actually a construction of your mind that can be remodeled at any time, by YOU?

Dig Deep again with us this week, in one of the most enlightening and real conversations on the web, here at our weirdforgood world!

With Aaron Nichols & Michael Wright

You’ll want to have a notepad handy again this week!

You can read more about me, Aaron Nichols on my about page. (sorry that my video feed is choppy!)

or Michael Wright’s website — http://www.fatherofone.com

Enjoy!

To be part of next week’s Hangout — Email Me at aaron@truenorthffc.com, each week I send out an invitation email with the details on how to get setup. (It’s pretty easy) then join us at 5:30 CST with 45 minutes to get in depth and have a fun — REAL discussion!

Flips and Flops but Don’t Stop!

Flopping on the bank, bouncing up and down in the mud, wiggling and squirming, my struggle exhausts me. A wide open mouth seems to gasp, but the dry air does me no good. My greenish black scales and white belly don’t feel like they belong here. A tailflap or another spiky raise of my back spines is useless. These things I can do, my abilities, seem pointless here.The stuff that is naturally me, just isn’t working… at… all…

I want to point our discussion today to CONTEXT. It’s the key. CONTEXT makes all the difference in our world. Nothing else can shift us as fast, as quick and as for real, as a complete overhaul of CONTEXT. 

How long have I been here? Too long to remember the before times. What is it like? Tiresome, Painful, Aggravating, Depressing, Hopeless, Pointless, Bleak and Barely Worth the Fight Anymore… But I flop around some more… That’s all I can do… One eye resting in the mud, the other pointed at the sky. My side fin is pinned under me. It can’t lift my body. It takes all my nonexistent energy to quickly heave my being up and (maybe) forward. Or sideways. Just somewhere adjacent, somewhere ever so slightly different. Heck, how do I know… It’s hard to tell where I am, when the only visual glimpse I get of the surroundings is in a sudden fleeting flash of movement, during my exasperating action.

My gills are parched. The land is scary, where I can barely breath. At first I would panic and freak out, and flop and flop and flop some more. Even the slightest splash of the shallowest puddle would provide life again. After awhile, I learned to live without. It’s a sincere and deep suffering, when the air all around, steals my moisture, and leaves me almost without a reason to go on flopping.

Then there’s the caked on grime and muck. I am getting all gummed up and sticky. Little stones and twigs and dead grasses adhere to me. Yuck! I don’t like that feeling at all! It’s annoying and embarrassing to look so ugly and dirty…

I’m feeling alone now too. I can’t remember the last time I was laughing with friends, or sharing a meal with loved ones. I’m the only one like me here. I can see the occasional little ant go by, or notice the black fly who stops to rest on me. A break from his buzzing around. It seems everyone else here, has the tools to make it, in this world, but me. They can scamper over the mud, or fly through the humid air, to wherever they’d like to go. I just wish I was a bug sometimes. Then this life would be easier…

I haven’t eaten in forever. My favorite meals of little juicy worms or spastic swimming larvae, are not here. Not out here on the bank. Even when I see a worm, they crawl right by me, I flop at them, but fail. Boy do I feel stupid.

My plight feels hopeless. So I just sit sometimes and wait. What else can I do? I think it will have to end at some point. I can’t go on forever like this right? So, why am I still here? Why have I made it this long, in this crummy condition? Why am I here, doing this flopping, yet still feel so stuck! And now, I am not just sad or forlorn or sorry about my stuck-ness, dammit I’M MAD!!!

Yeah! This SUCKS! It Sucks! It Sucks! It Sucks! So I silently scream my fishy head off, without making a sound. Flopping around on the land, where I don’t belong.

Until.

Until I flip that one most important next flop. I couldn’t see how close to the water I was. And I can’t say for sure if it was even me. It could have been gravity that rolled me. Or maybe someone else came along and nudged me with a boot, or a stick. However it has happened… all of a sudden…

SPLASH!!!

Whoosh, down into the coolness. Water! My Home! I just fell so fast and easy down, down, down into the sweet drink of life. Sucking and slurping and swishing. It’s almost too good to be true! I feel the tingle and the wash of wetness rinsing me outside and in. The caked-on mud and grime now floats and drifts away as I work my fins loose once again.

My equilibrium is returning after so long without use. I can sense things around me in brand new ways. I feel the current, the flow. I know that taste, that smell, everything is familiar again. I am receiving messages from all around. A young frog just exploded out of his hiding place, I may have scared him. The plants wave and rub and touch me, such a welcome massage. A wise old turtle lurks down below me, I feel his mass and just know it’s time to move out of his dangerous reach.

Still in disbelief, my recharge is almost instantaneous. I am wide awake and electric with energy! In my first real try, I Zing! and I Dart! and shoot around effortlessly, carving intricately around rocks, over submerged stumps and under an angled fallen limb! Haha! What fun it is to swim again! I am strong and sleek and made to glide! It’s just so nice to see all of my world, my eyes are wide open again. I know what’s ahead of me, where I want to go, and how I want to get there. I can plan and shift and go as slow or as fast as I’d like to. It’s up to me now.

Feeling refreshed, full of life, clean and at home again, I can look for nourishment. I grab some quick snacks under mossy rock. I cruise on. I am really feeling giddy now. My fears are gone. My belly is filling up, and there is plenty to eat here.The bleak hunger that was killing me, is now a smorgasbord of choice morsels!

What’s that? Movement and silver flashes up by the rapids! A whole school of friends! Wow, what fun they’re having! A few quick wiggles of the tail and I’m with them! Jumping and frolicking, daring each other and taking a leap up and over some rocks! Whoa! Not sure I’m ready to jump up and out of the water again just yet!

Ha, these are the finest fishy friends a bass could ask for! They have no idea, that it was just a short time ago, that I was struggling up on the bank by myself. Amazing to me, that now it just doesn’t even matter! My past was long gone the instant I hit that water! I could be myself again!

My true self is such an easy thing to be… Me! When I’m where I’m supposed to be. My struggle is gone, barely even a memory! All I can do is thank God. Way back on the dirty dry bank, I didn’t want to flip or flop or hardly even shrug. I almost, just almost, Gave Up.

But I didn’t. And how, or why or who could’ve known when that struggle would finally end. If I really think back, I know I had given up, over and over and over. It was a series of letdowns and actions and hopes dashed again. But that final move, that final flippity flop, or gravity roll, or nudge from another, was so slight, so small that I didn’t see it coming.

My CONTEXT was reborn in an instant. My CONTEXT, that seemed like death, is now washed with life. My depressing and pointless attempts have ended. It’s now time for flight and fun and freedom again. All in a shift of CONTEXT…

And the amazing thing about this story for us human beings is that when this shift of Context happens, it’s instant. Context lives in our minds. It’s not all about our surroundings. Context is how we process the world around us. It can seem physical however. That is how strong our minds are. It can physically feel like a dying dried out fish, hitting the cold fresh water of a stream, to shift the Context of our minds. It happens in a tiny moment, right where we are at. It takes no change in location, or job, or purchase, or sale, to feel the bliss of a Context shift.

I’m writing today, living in a  new world. A new context. Right now I breathe in a minty brisk air. It’s invigorating! Right now, my mind sizzles and pops with creativity. Right now, my heart is exploding with fullness of love and deeply connected peace. I am in knowing again.

I want to publicly thank my wife Lindsay, for being the spark that ignited this most recent big shift. Wow. What an honor, to share our lives and moments like this together. These are special ones. I appreciate each delicious breath. We did ask for it in prayer. I have asked for the help of others, of Coaches. I am in full awareness that I was nudged back into the freshness of a world I belong, by a power much greater than my own little flip-flapping could ever accomplish. Thanks be to God.

Are you feeling the fresh and fantastic ease of your natural confidence and power? Or do you struggle and gasp and feel the pain of separation from your true calling? Or have you wiggled yourself into a nice shady spot, in the cool mud, resigning to make the best of the situation. Do you say and believe things like: “It is, what it is”, and intend to just ‘get through’ life, riding it out, in tragic comfort on the banks, nowhere near the fun of your true fishy potential?

These choices are ours to make every day. I suggest to keep on flopping, don’t give up, you never know when the next step is the one that makes all the difference 🙂

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

(attributed to ― Albert Einstein)

Sincerely,

Aaron Nichols

Shift your CONTEXT by talking with me about ‘Struggling or Swimming?’

You’re invited to join the next weirdforgood hangout, and engage in our online workshop – you’ll need a free Google+ account, 45minutes to work with us, at 5:30 CST. You need a device with a camera & headset/microphone. If you can Skype, you can do this, (it’s actually really easy  ) Then email me at aaron@truenorthffc.com – before Tuesday – I’ll send you the hangout invite through Google+ when we start.

Check out last week’s hangout here, to get a feel for it. Join us if you dare!

Weirdforgood Hangout – 7 – The Big Bad Wolf of Self Judgement

The Two Wolves Story begins a fantastic discussion about self judgement in our Hangout this week. It is an empowering feeling to recognize that we are in control of whether we ‘feed’ and give life to our negative thoughts and beliefs, or our positive and life enhancing thoughts… OR, how we can take anything that comes at us, and find the message, and be the change that we want to see in the world.

With Aaron Nichols & Michael Wright

You’ll want to have a notepad handy again this week!

You can read more about me, Aaron Nichols on my about page. (sorry that my video feed is choppy!)

or Michael Wright’s website — http://www.fatherofone.com

Enjoy!

To be part of next week’s Hangout — Email Me at aaron@truenorthffc.com, each week I send out an invitation email with the details on how to get setup. (It’s pretty easy) then join us at 5:30 CST with 45 minutes to get in depth and have a fun — REAL discussion!

Big Bad Wolves Are Eating You Alive, Why Feed Them?

I’m Not Creative. It’s True. My mind is bleak and bland, repetitious and boring, dull and taupe in (lack of) color.

Creativity has never really been my thing. In fact, just this week, I had my very first crack at true imagination. I made something new. It was beautiful. It may have been the very first time ever, in my whole life. I enjoyed it 🙂

Now, if you have known me for a long time, you may be wondering why I say I’m not creative. And if I’m not, then why would I pick things like artistic graphic design, photography, web design and writing, to express myself? Maybe you think, I’m being self deprecating, and you can prove that I’m creative, because you either have one or ten tee shirts in your closet that I have ‘created’ over the years, and you think they look cool? I will admit, I have a knack and have practiced for many years to be able to pick fonts and colors and graphics and use professional programs to make a cool design. Even now, I’m writing to you on a blog that I have custom created myself, including all the graphics, all the photography, all the writing too… But I’m speaking about Creativity, in a much more powerful and profound way.

It turns out, that I haven’t been using my Creativity at all, in a very important area.

My thoughts.

Once again, this week, like a thousand times before, I was in reaction mode. I had a couple things on my mind that were bugging me. I had saw myself as backed into a corner. I felt pressure from the weight and heaviness of the issue. I saw a future unfolding because of this issue that I didn’t like. I was perturbed and annoyed that certain things were in my life, and in the life of those around me, that I felt didn’t match up. I had dug a hole of depression in my brain around this issue, and there I sat. Stuck.

Until I got a great message… Until I was blessed with a step up in conciousness… Until I saw that I wasn’t being Creative at all…

See I had this certain situation in my mind, that had me down. If you want to play along, insert any situation of your own, that brings up emotions like: annoyance, regret, disappointment, sadness or anger.

Then run it through this question: Have I decided that this thing is Bad?

Whoa, take that again, more slowly this time:

Run your situation through this question: Have I decided that this thing is Bad?

Powerfully simple, yet profound. I believe this question was a message from a higher power to help me jumpstart my creativity, in new ways.

I HAD decided that this situation I was thinking about, was Bad. I Did think that relationships were suffering and my options were being limited and I couldn’t be fully me, because I HAD DECIDED that this thing Was BAD.

Wow. Now, I’m going to boldly stand here and intentionally ignite a fuse with some readers. On Purpose. (Because I really don’t think this is BAD)

Politics. Religion. The Economy. These are issues that you may have decided are BAD. How about issues with a spouse, or co-worker, or boss, or children? Have you experienced something and immediately gone into a negative reaction mode? Check with yourself right now, and ask, ‘Did I decide that thing was bad?’

If you are capable of asking yourself this question, Bravo! You have a chance to practice a new form of creativity. It can unlock you from stuck situations. It can free the emotional bondage around a broken relationship. It can grease the rusty and mechanically frozen wheels in your mind, that stopped dead in their tracks, the moment You Decided Something was Bad.

We can see in hindsight, plenty of reasons to disprove this choice and judgement of any situation. Seeing later on, that we avoided more pain, or a new door was opened when the one we wanted closed, gets plenty of praise. But let’s live one step closer, in creativity, to  a place that is more exciting and FUN for our naturally creative minds.

I (in theory, and more easily, with more practice) can take any situation, and stop myself before I decide it’s Bad. Or (if I missed that moment) I can see afterward, while feeling junky, that I’ve made this Choice, and go back and pick something new. It’s all up to me. I can switch things around at any time. I’m in charge. Not the situation, or the other person.

The reason for all this playing around and testing new systems of operation? Because I want to feel good.  Guess how I feel, when I decide something is bad… really… think hard on this one! Yeah, BAD! Guess how I feel if I decide something sucks… Yeah, I feel sucky! Guess how I feel, if I decide something is hard… or difficult, or stressful… (yes, these are all DECISIONS we make, not 100% truths) I feel exhausted, and tired and stressed out!

When I decide something is Good. Well, I feel Good. When I decide something is AWESOME! I feel AWESOME! When I decide something is profound, and deeply moving, I feel an ocean of peace and internal power.

Okay, so time for some creativity! Time to awaken the artist in my mind. Time to use my imagination to make something that I actually WANT, rather than just how it operated when I took it out of the box 33 (almost 34) years ago. I get to use this tool of my mind to DECIDE, how my life is right now, and how each of these little situations unfold throughout my day. It’s all up to ME!

I can see the hope, I can see the challenge, I can see adventure, I can see problem-solving, I can see a puzzle, I can see a game, I can see unmolded clay, I can see something I choose to let go of, at anytime, instead of a BAD PROBLEM, if I so chose.

Of course, not all things are Bad. And that’s why we stay stuck. We see some things as good naturally. So we just expect to keep our eye out for more good situations or people or opportunities to show up. We want to grab ahold of the ones we already see as good, and grip them with an iron fist. We get the feeling that the world has a lack of good things, and we should make the most out of the ones we get.

WRONG!

All situations show up as completely neutral, until we decide a judgement about them: Good or Bad. Don’t believe me? You can test this. Just think of two polar opposite things in your life, one good, one bad. Ask Yourself, When did I decide that this thing was Good? When did I decide this thing was Bad? You will get an answer, because you did the deciding. You already know this truth. Test it.

So, Get Really Creative. Play Artist in your own mind. Repaint the things that don’t make you feel good. And also see that the already good ones, have some flaws too. You need to see that you’ve made this choice  You have the Power. You can OWN your Life. Situations don’t own you. YOU own YOU.

This way, you can begin to flow, in the natural harmonious rhythm of our universe. In our Lord’s Prayer, we ask for our Daily Bread. That is Bread for the Day. Not for a stockpile of cash, and a basement full of ammo and food for the apocalypse. That is living in a chosen state of Fear. That doesn’t leave room for God. Seeing and freeing ourselves to live in a cycle of ebb and flow, is Biblical. It actually feels good. All things come and go. We can enjoy them or Not. We can dance with life, or it can break us. It’s all Our Choice.

What do you chose today? Here’s an idea: Choose Love, for God, for your Neighbor, for Yourself.

Sincerely,

Aaron Nichols

The Story of Two Wolves

 An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life.

 “A fight is going on inside me,” he told the young boy, “a terrible fight between two wolves.  One is evil, full of anger, sorrow, regret, greed, self-pity and false pride.  The other is good, full of joy, peace, love, humility, kindness and faith.”

“This same fight is going on inside of you, grandson…and inside of every other person on this earth.”

The grandson ponders this for a moment and then asks, “Grandfather, which wolf will win?”

The old man smiled and simply said,

“the one you feed.”

 

Want to talk together about ‘The Big Bad Wolf?’

You’re invited to join the next weirdforgood hangout, and engage in our online workshop – you’ll need a free Google+ account, 45minutes to work with us, at 5:30 CST. You need a device with a camera & headset/microphone. If you can Skype, you can do this, (it’s actually really easy  ) Then email me at aaron@truenorthffc.com – before Tuesday – I’ll send you the hangout invite through Google+ when we start.

Check out last week’s hangout here, to get a feel for it. Join us if you dare!