What I Do – Heckifiknow!!

So often, I get the question “What do you do?”

Well, to be plain honest, I dread that question!

Mostly because the answer is a work in progress…

I don’t have my One Thing nailed down, and somehow, feel a little ashamed to give that answer. Not that I should at all. In fact, only a very tiny minute percentage of people KNOW what their One Thing is.

Sure lots of people work for some place, or Do a certain Job, but is it the One Thing that they were custom tailored for by God to accomplish here on the third rock from the sun??

If they truly searched their hearts most would say “Not Exactly?” Well, I am now Publicly admitting that my quest is in-process, under-construction and TBD on what “I Do”.

So here in the text below, is one example for you, of a “thing” I do, in relation to my Coaching Services. This is an actual conversation, I had tonight, online with an important person who is reaching out for a possible partnership to help her improve her situation…

Feel free to leave your comments or critiques below, I would love a little “coaching” to help me, help others, in the best way possible. Thanks and Enjoy.
The name “Kristin” has been made up, and the words are posted with her permission 🙂

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Today: 10:02pm

Kristin:
what do you charge for your financial coaching?

Me:
🙂 Thx for asking 🙂 I have a personal coaching service available, we could work together based on a price that works for you. What is going on right now? Or are you asking for a friend?

Kristin:
well my friend needs it too! I guess I was just thinking something along the lines of helping distrubite my money better and pay off debt faster…

Me:
I like your thinking, and agree with that very much 🙂 the big question really is Why 🙂

Kristin:
i have a daughter and would liek to save her for college go on vacation and own a house someday with some land

Me:
Hmnm, those are some tasty goals! How bad do you want them??

Kristin:
very bad… I don’t want to live pay check to pay check and work 2 jobs as i am doing now

Me:
You are sounding like someone who can really truly make that happen. Do you believe you can do it?

Kristin:
yes! Right now I am working 2 jobs and going to school full time for medical assistant
I would like to go back and get my criminal justice as well… just to have 2 degrees even if they are only assoicates degrees with the economy you just never know what kind of job you are going to find in what field.. ..

Me:
I have expanded my financial coaching to begin with a little life coaching type stuff that can lead toward wanting freedom from debt/financial stability. The big thing I am finding is that we really need to know the WHY before we decide that we want the finance stuff. Sounds like you are working really hard right now!

Kristin:
I am. Being a single mother is not easy and the things that we NEED are not CHEAP either… However I just bought a newer car, but would like to pay off some things and have enoght in savings incase something were to go wrong with it or get laid off that I would have some in savings that we could live off of while looking for another job… or as you know life happens and things come up unexpected and you have to come up with that money right then and there. I just want to be able to live comfortably if there is such a thing and have a decent life for my daughter to where we could go and do fun things like go on vacation once a year and so forth

Me:
I have a problem Kristin…

Kristin:
whats that?

Me:
I think waaay bigger than most people…
I think you deserve what you mentioned, BUT A WHOLE WHOLE WHOLE Lot more than even that!!!

Kristin:
ok so tell me what you are thinking? Every car loan I have had i have paid off early I always pay more than what the payment is if i can or sometimes try to make 2 in one month…
so… you are thinking you might be able to help me with this?? do you help come up with a bill schedule and money management?

Me:
I think you are working tooo hard and you and your daughter deserve to feel a whole new level of financial peace. Yes of course the bill schedule, money management are a part I can help you with. But the bigger thing, is that if you are open to it, we can talk a little about some truths of how to make a future for yourself that is waaay beyond maybe what you already are thinking…. NOT that money is the key to happiness by any means. Because today, you have what you have, and you and your daughter can share a smile and be happy, today with exactly everything the way it is…
The bigger your desire, the further you can go!

Kristin:
This is awesome! I am ready for this!!

Me:
The cost associated with this kind of coaching creates a commitment on your part to take it very seriously, and get your money’s worth out of the process. Tell me a price number that starts to make you nervous…

Kristin:
What you said really touched me and I have had a rough patch with my childs father and I am just trying to move on with my life and get started on the right foot and KNOW myself that I DON”T NEED ANYONE TO HELP ME with my financial aspect. you know? I am NOT one to ask for money. I would go days with out eating if thats what it meant to make sure my child had enough food. Sorry kinda vented to ya. A price range on coaching that makes me nervous? how long does it go for, for the price? or do you to a session at a time?

Me:
Kristin – you are a great Mom full of love and commitment to your daughter, I can feel that in your words. This kind of coaching can take many forms. I am actually working on re-vamping my entire process. It is so coincidental that you’ve messaged me tonight. Good coaching involves Listening, Challenging, Supporting and Following Up. What would that look like to you?? I am asking because, I would like to hear from your perspective, the best way I can accomplish those 4 things for you?

Kristin:
I think that would be good! And relates to someone wanting happiness not only finical but in their daily lives. and the following up part i think is great for the simple fact that it holds people responsible for what they are doing while you are helping them.

Me:
Does that sound like 4 sessions to you? Or More, Or Less? Support could be email, phone, text…

Kristin:
yes

Me:
Okay, so for you, what sounds like a reasonable price for a service like that?

Kristin:
I don’t know… I have never looked into anything of this matter and don’t want to cheat you anything for your services

Me:
That’s okay Kristin 🙂 I want to be able to help people in the exact situation that you are in. And I want to set a price that will help them take the advice very seriously, as that will only benefit the client, and their future even more. I don’t however want it to be so out of the reach, that someone in your situation could never afford it.

Kristin:
That is awesome of you that you do that with different clients… I am getting ready to move and my rent is going down and with my crazy schedule would you think that **$____.__ is fair or is that too low? I feel bad throwing a number out there… I really don’t want to cheat you of your job bc I wouldn’t want someone asking me to take a pay cut you know!

Me:
Kristin – You are showing the courage is in you to make things happen by even taking this step. Yes **$____.__is a number that we can work with. Let’s look at a 3 session program of Listening, Challenging and Following Up, with Support Throughout. I have a LOT of Tools that are specific to personal financial coaching, that are the same ones used in Dave Ramsey’s home offices, for their clients as well, from the average to high-profile client. I know they work, if we can work together to stick to the plans. How does that feel?

Kristin:
That sounds good! I will get my schedule for next week at my full time job and I can message you on here and get back with you on a day?

Me:
Yes, that sounds great. I look forward to seeing you hitting your goals and watching your new future unfold 🙂 You Deserve It!

Kristin:
Thank you so much Aaron and I will be talking to you soon! Thanks again!

Me:
Great! Now I have 1 more question!!

Kristin:
Whats that?

Me:
If I make this completely anonymous. Would you mind if I post this conversation up as my weekly blog post?? I think you can help others out there, by showing you want to work your way to a better life for you and your daughter. Whaddya think?

Kristin:
for sure! anything that will help you!! I will help get your word out there… I have a few friends that are struggling as well. I planned on telling them about it! what is your site that you past this on?

Me:
Awesome! Thank you so much. I will be posting it up tonight on www.weirdforgood.com my weekly blog – You’re now going to be a blog-star! But no one will know it’s you 🙁 🙂

Kristin:
awesome! I can’t wait to see what others have to say and see if it helps more people!
Great, Me Too! Talk to you early next week to set up a schedule!
awesome thank you Aaron!

Me:
Thank You Kristin!

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Well, there ya’ go folks, There’s one thing I do. Would love to hear feedback on this one, for Me, and for “Kristin’s” sake!!

Sincerely,

Aaron Nichols

** – Pricing – I’ve chosen to leave the decided-upon pricing out of this public version of the conversation. I hope it comes across in the wording that the price is tailored to the client’s needs/abilities. As mentioned, my coaching services are currently undergoing an overhaul, and also I could tell that with the price that this young single-mother offered to pay, she is Very serious about her own development, and I have a great feeling about her commitment and possibility to succeed!

If you have any questions about coaching, pricing or living in freedom, please email me at aaron@truenorthffc.com

Give a Little, Live a Lot, 4 Grandma’s Sake

I’m thrilled to bring you yet another gueSTARtist post from a good “friend” of mine…

Actually “friend” is an interesting word here. I certainly feel friendliness for Rob, manly respect and love too. But how and why Rob and I are now connected, I can’t really say. Maybe, it is birds-of-a-feather, maybe it is fate, maybe God brought us into this unique relationship. Either way, it’s been a great benefit to myself, and I’ll speak for him too, Rob would agree 🙂

So Monday mornings at 7:30 am, over a cup of coffee at Mickey D’s, Rob and I converse. From the beginning, we’ve strayed away from idle chatter, whining and “story-telling”. In fact, it’s sometimes a challenge. We’ve become accountability partners. We share our struggles, and keep each other in check. We set important weekly goals and pay a price if they’re not met. It’s a neat thing. I call it Coffee Coaching, and it’s a mutual benefit. Anyway, I’m blessed to be learning and be being taught by today’s gueSTARtist, Rob.

As I ponder the “U turn” of weirdforgood, I carefully consider… What took place in my life that has had lasting impact and change?

It was 1992 and it involved my Grandma Meyer, Betty Meyer, to everyone else.  Grandma passed a few years back but I still have fond memories of her.  Grandma was a midwife in Rantoul, KS and likely delivered as many children as the local doctor.  She not only loved people, but also animals.  Even the mean black cats that scratch you and bite you, but I’m not bitter, I healed.

As for me I was a 15 year old teenager who, like most teenagers knew everything and pretty much lived for me.  I would go visit grandma from time to time but as I got older, there was less need for her input, or so I thought.

So this is a blog with Grandma knowledge; please, for her,  listen carefully.

Grandma, who can take liberties with the law, if it is done for good reason, plagiarized a poem into her own handwriting and gave it to me.  Though I can’t find the true author of the poem, it reads as follows:

Is anybody happier because you passed this way?
Does anyone remember that you spoke to them today?
The day is almost over, and its’ toiling time is through.
Is there anyone to utter now a kindly word of you?

Can you say tonight in parting with the day that’s slipping fast,
That you helped a single person of the many that you passed?
Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said?
Does one whose hopes were fading now with courage look ahead?

Did you waste the day or use it? Was it well or sorely spent?
Did you leave a trail of kindness, or a scar of discontent?
As you close your eyes in slumber, do you think that God will say:
“You have earned one more tomorrow by what you did today.”

Like many poems, you can read through it once and say, “That was nice.”, but I have read it over and over again, unfolding, reading and then refolding the white piece of notebook paper.

Daily I have the opportunity to reflect on this poem and believe that some how and in some way I can change someone’s day.  In doing this, I am able to affect so many others.  I am a believer in paying it forward and as God blesses me everyday, I must continue pouring out blessings to allow them to flow beyond myself.

Those involved in particular churches often refer to each other as brother and sister.  These are those who recognize that we are of one family and should work together to make life better for all.

It doesn’t take hours of volunteering or thousands of dollars in cash.  It doesn’t mean only helping those who have less than you.   It means you have the power to brighten humanity.

Live a CONSCIOUS life.  Do not only be aware of your day and what is happening in your life, but also pay attention to those around you and better their lives as well.

I guess some would now post some grand deed they did for others, but that would lessen the deed as a whole.  One might ask, “Why help others when I have so many needs myself?”  It has been shown that when one does good deeds for others, the giving person actually receives more fulfillment and happiness than those who received.  Also, there is no need to share what you have done.  It fills your heart and will be there for your reflection.

We say that we are busy people.  I know I have more car projects than I know what to do with.  I work 2 jobs.  I play pool league 1 night a week, a self-development meeting another night. So who really has time to “make a difference”?  WE ALL DO!

Opportunities to make a difference come in all shapes and sizes.  Smile! Wave! Get the door for someone!  Let someone go ahead of you in line!  Leave some quarters at the car wash for the next person!  There are thousands of things we can do, but some opportunities will be uniquely yours.  Take advantage of them.

Contemplate Grandma’s poem each morning and every night in this week to come.  When you are given the opportunity to be a ray of sunshine for someone else, please do so.  I don’t ask that you post what you did for someone else, but rather just an anonymous tally mark in response to this blog.

The End….

Well, I thought it was the end!

This blog was supposed to have been emailed to Aaron yesterday, but I completely forgot about it and didn’t get it to him.  Tonight I understand why.

Today while at work I walked passed a gentleman, who I am guessing to have been a security guard.  He was sitting in a very large exhibit hall with events preparing in the exhibit halls to each side of him.  His area however was empty except a few moving vans and trucks and trailers.  He sat there in his khakis pants, his dress shirt and his orange work vest.

As I walked by I asked him, “How are you doing today?”  He replied, “Good, how about you?”  I replied “Doing well.” That was all the normal part, but what happened next is why I remember this man from today, his clothes, his look, even his tone of voice. He said, with much appreciation in his words, “Thank you for asking how I was doing.”

Obviously this man had been overlooked most of the day by people who were “too busy” or perceived him as unimportant.

When was the last time someone truly appreciated being asked how their day was?  We so often, say “Thanks for asking.”, but when do we really mean it?  Though I know he was appreciative of me asking him, right now I am appreciative of being genuinely thanked and will recognize the importance of speaking to others even more.  We never know the impact we might have.  Now, that… is the end.

Sincerely,

Rob

Please don’t read this: You still like me!

We Build Own Prisons, then Complain We’re Not Free.

Boom!

I’ve been here beating around the bush, trying to finagle the phrase to sound purty…
But… it’s best said just as blunt as this:

We Build Own Prisons, then Complain We’re Not Free.

Society has told us that a “Normal American Lifestyle” should look like X, Y & Z…
And We Believed Em.

“Society”… hmm… who would that be?? Oh, the companies who manufacture the products and services that we must buy in order to fit into the NAL?? Or would it be the media outlets who create the print, music and video programming and content that we fill our attention with, that are funded by advertisements paid for by the companies who manufacture the products and services that we must buy in order to fit into the NAL??

Pretty Much.

So, I am I saying that “Society” in this sense of the word is serving itself with the NAL? YUP.

Warning: You may want to quit here, while we’re all still friends!

We Build Own Prisons, then Complain We’re Not Free.

I hear it and see it all the time. People complaining about their circumstances, their jobs, their lack of money… These are the complaints that just come with “Life”, right?

We Decide to align ourselves with what “Society” says is right. It is Our Choice and Our Responsibility to accept whatever consequences, good or bad, come from that choice.

At age 18 most of us have tons of potential, energy, naivety and freedom… and then we do what “Society” says is smart.

So, on average, 10 years later, you see a lot of stressed out married couples in:

  • jobs they don’t love,
  • with school loan debt,
  • living in a nicer house than they can really afford,
  • stuffed with unnecessary plastic junk,
  • a couple car payments,
  • probably carrying some credit card debt
  • and hopefully a smiling laughing sweet little kiddo or two tooo 🙂
    • Who love their parents enough to want to grow up and be just like them.

Sound Normal?? Sound like what Society says is the NAL? It just: “Is what It Is”??

Bullshit.

Rewind.

Here’s what “Society” doesn’t want you to know. Here’s why they are freaking shaking in their boots because this Economic Recession is showcasing some fundamental truths that have always existed, but were forgotten for years…

That 18 year old kid now could benefit from a few different goals to shoot for; and I don’t mind if “Society” doesn’t agree with them…

  • A Job – Just Over Broke – YOU were created for a single purpose here on earth. There are ways to find out your individual strengths, natural abilities and God-Given Calling. Ending up in just a “job” is a HUGE mistake. A Job is a terrible place to spend 8 hours of your day. A Job is something Everyone agrees Sucks. A Job is something you would only do because you have to.
    • Working in your Calling, Using your Passion, Serving others with Your Unique Abilities is a WONDERFUL alternative to a Job. That may happen 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week at a company that happens to need you and your specific Purpose. This may also happen many more hours per week. This may be an 168 hour a week LIfe’s Mission that includes your family time, friend time, money making and money spending time in an entrepreneurial adventure that you are the star of. There are people who live like that, and they don’t complain about going to work. They’re sinking their teeth into the vigor of life itself as a way of life, and truly *rich too! In the fullest sense of the word.
  •  School – is important, if it is helping you to learn more about your Calling or helping you find your Calling, but it is NEVER important enough to spend the next 15 years of your life paying for it. School can be paid for as you go. If not, there is another school, or another way to accomplish your goals. School in and of itself is no guarantee of anything. There are lot of materials available that cover this. It is worth it, to learn to work, and sacrifice and still get the education you need for your Calling. If the point of school is to get a better job. Quit. We already covered this: Jobs Suck.
  • Your House – is a Liability. Not an Asset. Watch this video. Robert Kiyosaki blew my mind with this one. It’s true. Even my completely paid-for house is not an asset. Keeping this in mind when choosing our home can make a HUGE difference to a young family; probably the biggest purchase they’ll ever make. And when they buy that too big, too expensive house, they’ll forfeit the chance to build real wealth by starting a business or buying an Income Producing opportunity, because the house eats up all the money coming in.
  •  Stuff – that we think we need to make us happy… hmmm…  some things add to our personal convenience, like a heater for the house, running water, food, electricity, but there is a line where I myself have crossed waaay over into having Stuff for Stuff’s sake. And the best irony comes, when we just know obtaining an item will make us happy, yet once obtained, we’re looking toward the next thing. Finding contentment Today, with exactly where we are, and exactly what we have; is the only way to ever get there; because right here, right now, is the only place we ever are… Truly.
  • Car Payments. Gross. Driving an object that’s constantly dropping in value, while you pay the bank extra money for the privilege: A double-whammy liability. Tons of great cars and trucks are out there at prices that don’t require a loan, if one learns to save. Then paying oneself into a car savings cookie jar, can upgrade to another one, in the time one would have used paying the bank anyway. Or, quit giving a crap what people think of what you drive, and be like me and poor ole Mr. Walton.
  • Credit Cards – Money you will promise to pay back in the future. The borrower is slave to the lender. Pay for things when you want to buy them, with Money, and be weird, and miss all the great rewards and bonuses and airline miles and other gold stars you get for being a slave, like me and like the poor, destitute, Mr. Ramsey.
  • Kidds – Here is one where “Society” is sooo right. Who doesn’t Loooove the little ones!! I think they are GREAT! and there is no catch to this one! And just because we’re all such fans of their cuteness and their great potential why don’t we do our best to show them ours, and that:
    • The most important thing you can ever do, is acknowledge and act on your inner desire for a relationship with God; with whom all things are possible.
    • Giving is a part of a Successful life.
    • You Deserve a Successful Life.
    • Your life becomes what you constantly think about.
    • Integrity is always the right answer.
    • Failure is a Great teacher if you Persist.
    • Sacrifice can bring you anything you want.
    • Self Discipline makes you stronger than getting your way.
    • Normal Sucks.
    • And you will have to learn this all on your own, in your own way…

So back to my earlier point, and back to this sentence, I’ve been afraid to write out loud…

We Build Own Prisons, then Complain We’re Not Free.

I’ve been there, and worked hard for and accumulated all the things that Society said were important to my Normal American Life, (sans wedding and kids – I had other influences, teaching about those things)… And I found out that building all those prison bars of debt and stuff did nothing but confine my life and my options and possibilities. It sure didn’t make me happy, cause I went out searching for more of that too…

This moment tonight, of complete debt-freedom, new understanding, radical life and spirit altering turbulence has only led me to one thing:

Get Happy. Right Now. It’s the only place we ever are…

In Debt, or Out, it really doesn’t matter either… Cause luckily we don’t know all the answers and we get to keep searching for them, whether we’re behind bars or out of jail and free. I can tell ya, there’s a whole other world out there, I’m loving exploring it!

And also if you’re 18 and reading this… Avoid Normal; It just takes years of hard work to get into it, then years of hard work to get back out… Skip it. Get Weird. Stay Weird. Listen Only to Your Heart, it knows the Way…

AND in the immortal words of Mr. Kid Rock

“Money and Success ~ I don’t complain about the stress ~ I wanted this and now it’s here ~ so.. I… don’t… Bitch…”
(Roll On, from Rock’n Roll Jesus – 2007 )

Sincerely,

Aaron Nichols

I Give Up! At least for right now.

Why stay dry while double downing delicious doses of high volume heathenry a mile above sea level in downtown Denver??

Lemme ‘splain.

In the last month or so, a pondering thought I’ve chewed on, is whether I’m living as a “personality” or living with a “purpose”. I think this concept and its contrast was brought up in some material I read by Steve Chandler. (a really righteous dude!) Since reading it, I’ve been thinking hard about my current motives in this crazy solo-prenuer/soul-searching/ Free Agent adventure I’m on.

A quick explanation is that when living as a personality, we put emphasis on our identity as a person. We have our stuff that makes us who we are. We have our tastes and skills and our titles and all that jazz to explain us to ourselves… and if that stuff is gone, or changes, then what are we left with; maybe nothing??

On the other hand, living with a purpose (very condensed version 🙂 is the knowing of that One Thing, that is our unique service to the world. For me, it would be the One Aaron-Shaped Hole that I was handcrafted by God to fill here on Earth.

Wow, pretty daunting task for me to figure out, and I think very few actually do.

Some may be born with this knowing, others discover it through living life’s challenges. I now struggle with deciding if I’ve followed my Brain down this un-trodden path to Free Agency, when my Heart is the one who knows the True Way?? Hmmmmm…..

This introduction to the idea for living with a “Purpose” is leading somewhere, I promise.

Through the constant repeating of this word in my mind:{ Purpose} and the silent praying for an answer to the question of “God, what is my purpose?” I believe He recently nudged me toward the path to answer.

Now! Jump back in time to a FUN-FILLED Friday Night. The date was September 29th. I had my first poker night with the guys lined up in what seemed like forever. This Friday tradition of the past has been on hiatus and everyone was chomping at the bit to play. On my way to town for grilling supplies, a good ole buddy called about shooting a quick 9 holes before dark… SURE! So rerouting the Trooper toward the golf course, my evening plans went from good to great!

After the several sweet swings, and a couple swigs of cold-beer, I arrived home just in time for the burger burning to begin. Poker players showed up, and more beers went down, the night was swimming along in friendly frolic and fun. I was even more elated to see a far-away fella walk through the door. A real solid dude from Chicago was visiting for the weekend and sat down to play. The night was just stellar!

The games went on and drinks flowed until we found ourselves at the local watering hole and exchanging some really deep and powerful philosophies on life. And this part is no kiddin’! Several meaningful moments were shared, I just wish I could remember them…

BOOM! Saturday morning SUN! My dry eyes creaked when they opened to a room that had elastic walls. As my head throbbed, my bedroom shrank and expanded with each slow pulse of dehydrated blood through my system… I realized I was HUNGOVER.

Making my way to the couch, I felt my Saturday was stopped dead in it’s tracks. I was going nowhere, and physically/mentally capable of next to nothing…

and then it happened.

Without Judgment. Without Blame. Without any Parental Disappointment whatsoever, I received a message, maybe from my subconscious, maybe from God.

In a dry as a bone, matter of fact voice, I heard in my hungover brain:

“God can only use me if I’m sober”

okay… that’s pretty heavy.

…………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………….

Yeah, I needed a blank minute to think about that one; because that’s big darn deal!

No drinking? Being sober means being useful?

What a drag! Throughout my teens/twenties and now thirties, I have involved alcohol in my good times, bad times and lots of other times in between.

Although more recently, I’ve felt less compelled to drink it up like “in the old days”. Still, I couldn’t ignore this message, and how it showed up on a day after I had let “one more” lead to “one more” and so on… I guess I still can let it go too far…

Well, being that sick and hungover makes you want to stay clear of any kind of drinking the next night, but what about the upcoming week, or next weekend or beyond?? At that time, I had no idea how I would handle this message, how it related to my search for a “Purpose” or anything else. So I discussed it with Lindsay, who supported me, and I also took it to the Wednesday night Bible study group, that I’m lucky to be a part of.

Those good guys heard me out. They understood, gave me feedback and more importantly, a challenge: Try to go the next weekend without any drinking at all… Wow.

Yeah, I had also just told them that my upcoming weekend included a Two Night, Three Concert event featuring my very favorite Band of Heathens! Called the Double-Down in Denver, this long awaited weekend was to be a PERFECT place to rock out, kick back and suck down some drinks!

Whelp, like I told Lindsay, the Guys and Myself, I just couldn’t commit to absolutely No Drinking on this epic weekend adventure, but I would consider the message, the challenge and my own chance to grow and learn.

I have to admit that the thought was on my mind as Lindsay and I headed West early Friday morning. I wanted to enjoy our weekend together, enjoy the shows and see how the message played out.

Right in step with my thoughts on throwing the whole idea to the roadside, an AM station playing some kinda sermon popped up on the radio. We were in western Kansas and only a couple more hours to go, when I heard “Godliness leads to Usefulness. Usefulness leads to Happiness.” Wow. Okay. I AM HEARING YOU!!!!

So as we hit town and caught up with Twinny friends and family, I passed on the first couple BBQ Beers… Didn’t have to have them, we had the whole night ahead of us, right?

Later as we arrived downtown, my excitement was boiling up. I was about to see and hear, in person, the tunes that were the soundtrack of my 6,000 mile summer roadtrip. For the Friday night show, we were getting our bearings at the club, and as it filled up, I felt a little weird to not have a beer in hand, but overall, no biggie, I had the whole rest of the weekend right?

Well the Guys of tBoH absolutely rocked! My buzz-free mind was noticing everything! I saw a whole new concert perspective. My clear ears picked up every soul-sent note from the antique guitars and voices of the three lead singers, Colin, Gordy and Ed, to Trevor’s ole organ, Seth’s bass and John’s percussions! I saw the hard work of Harley the tour manager who fine-tuned the soundboard, song by song, with little hints winked and nodded from on-stage. Overall, I was so thrilled to be at that show at that moment, I didn’t even think about the lack of booze in ma’ body!

Their performance went fabulously late, the only overdose I felt the next morning? Music.

So with one show down, I still had two more I could enjoy a drink with later on Saturday. Well the day was a downer in Denver, starting with snow and continuing into grey cold drizzle all day… Kinda like Wine weather right?? Well how about smoked meat snacks for lunch and a nap in the king-size instead, we had another late night ahead ya’ know!

The afternoon got away from us, and all of a sudden it was time to head downtown to the Acoustic show at a cozy restaurant setting. I was excited and a decision needed to be made; take the shuttle and drink, or drive and don’t. Well we kinda played with both ideas and settled on drive, but maybe still drink. Cool, you know it was a looong night ahead and we still had plenty of time for just one or two…

Wouldn’t you know it, the Acoustic Show was so killer, so personal, that water was fine as wine we while tapped out the tunes, sitting almost with the band.

I can’t express the sheer amazing coincidential craziness of being in that place at that time, given my history with these guys and their music. I just love that Lindsay enjoys them too, it makes my heart sing.

So Anyway!!!! To wrap this story up, I passed on the drinks through dinner and even into the Saturday night roof-shaking, face-melting, front-row rockin’ good times that we were so blessed to be a part of.

It was an absolutely spectacular and an absolutely sober experience!

With the support of Lindsay, a challenge from the Men of my Church, and obviously lots of love from above, I somehow procrastinated on drinking long enough that the weekend passed without it, and without missing it much at all…

Ah! So! Thank YOU for being here to read these words, and now I want to explain something important! This message is NOT in ANY WAY intended to imply that anyone else out there should change a habit of their own, that they are already comfortable with. In fact, I think the reason this message resonated with me so well is that it was delivered in such a peaceful, neutral, loving and non-preaching, matter-of-fact way.

“God can only use me if I’m sober” Is a message for me and me only.

If this story resonates with you or if you feel compelled to ponder things like “God can only use me if I _____________” then that is completely up to you and Him. I’m just sharing another piece of my life; like always here on www.weirdforgood.com

And! I have to express the level of extraordinary favor that I felt throughout this weekend of temptation. Several times, Lindsay and I experienced neat little hints that we were being cared for by somebody, somewhere; the universe, God and all that good stuff!

Three examples that stand out:

  • The hotel concierge let us park free ($20 value) after I had seen him charge others.
  • The dinner after the acoustic show was supposed to be at a 22% discount, when the bill came full price, the waiter adjusted it, and made it 25%.
  • And the BEST OF ALL! When we showed up a few minutes tardy to the Acoustic Show, it looked like we had no place to sit. As we settled for a booth in the room adjacent to the Heathens, Ethan the band Manager came and got us. He had found two stools and put us in the best seats in the house! We sat right up with the band, only room for the waitress to walk in between us and I LOVED IT!!

Okay y’all! THANK YOU for hanging with me through this looooooong bloggy-ness. I appreciate every darn person readin’ this ole’ sucker!

I have no idea how my future is going to really pan out. Does anyone? I know that saying today that I will never have another drop of alcohol is something I’m not ready for. I also can tell you that I don’t feel convinced that I know my Purpose fo’ sho’ whatsoever…

But thank God, that he’s showing me just how serious I can get when I want to pursue my own dreams! Or maybe what a great procrastinator can really accomplish! HA! Either way, until next week, I’ll be in pursuit, and praying that your plans are purposeful and prosperous!

and that’s the true story of why I stayed dry while double downing delicious doses of high volume heathenry a mile above sea level in downtown Denver 🙂 bu’ dum’ dum’ crash!

Sincerely,

Aaron Nichols

for fans of The Band of Heathens – Here are a couple more links to blogs that I’ve written, mentioning the guys

http://weirdforgood.com/2011/07/legacy-of-heathens.html

http://ashellandastone.blogspot.com/2010/07/signs.html

I LOVE GOVERNMENT!! A Political Rant (kinda)

Last week I read the very first sentence of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, and it knocked me on my ass!

“From my grandfather Verus, I learned good morals and the government of my temper.”

WOW. I’ve been looking forward to reading this work, but had no idea I would be conked in the head on sentence number ONE!

Let’s unpack and go a step further, as we usually do here at www.weirdforgood.com.

What is the Emperor of Rome saying with the very first line of his slender book written waaay back around 170 AD? I think he’s choosing to write about his most valuable virtues first. And today, how do we relate to these two ancient ideas?

“good morals” is absolutely a hot topic in today’s world. Where do they come from? Who decides what is right and wrong? Are morals strictly written in stone or do they change with the times? Do we get to decide individually what we consider good morals? These questions are important, but a little bigger than I want to get into here…

However! On the next virtue that Richard Harris’ character, in the movie Gladiator, Mr. Aurelius, is talking about: “government of my temper”… I will dive into much further.

I can guarantee you that one thing in my life, that I really wish I would have been able to govern at times would be my fiery temper!

It’s true. And anyone who really knows me is shaking their head right now!

Actually as I first read this line, I didn’t focus so much on the word temper, but on the word government.

How often in today’s world do we hear that a main virtue to be valued is when someone governs an emotion? Aren’t we all supposed to feel what we feel and act on what our “heart” is telling us? Or is the emotion coming from somewhere else? Like maybe our gut?

I guess the word temper usually equates to anger, but “temperament” actually could be expanded. Here is a list of nine temperaments found in children by Thomas and Chess

  • Activity
  • Regularity (rhythmicity)
  • Initial reaction
  • Adaptability
  • Intensity
  • Mood
  • Distractibility
  • Persistence and attention span
  • Sensitivity

Wow, think if as kids, we had all learned to “govern” our temperament in all its forms.

I take “govern” to mean that we have the power and control over these parts of ourselves at all times. Would this be the most powerful tool we could ever possess?

I am beginning to think so.

I don’t care if we are going to talk about real issues like money or relationships or career pursuit or family or even our spiritual walk, the “government of our temperament” would take us further than riding the waves of our gut emotions every time they fire up.

Okay, maybe you are one of “those” people who don’t experience things like anger, rage, fear, depression, sadness, jealousy, loneliness, or disappointment. Well in that case, I’m sorry. Cause really it takes someone who can “feel” to also experience radical joy, elation, hopefulness, hilarity, passion, and all the thrilling fulfilling highs of life!

Point here is: on some level we all have emotions; sometimes helpful, sometimes not. But Every Time I can think of, I would rather have control over whether or not I let myself escalate up or slide down the range of feelings in the present moment.

So many times in our world today, we see the encouragement, admiration or at least attention on people who live and act upon their reactions. We see the celebrities on TMZ getting the most video play when they go berserk expressing extreme behavior and/or have overindulged.

Actually folks, that is the real issue I’m getting to here. When we want something really badly, we usually feel it waaay down in our gut. It may be junk food; sure, but it could also be an spendy item we think we haaave to have. It could be a feeling of wanting someone else to feel hurt because we feel they hurt us. I personally relate to wanting alcohol or cigarettes to have a good time.

None of these things are born in the right mind. None of these are born among our learned or decided upon “good morals”. I think our heart knows too and yet, I go with the gut.

Hmmmm, we’ve been touching on some pretty deep subjects lately and it’s only going further from here.

Guys and Gals, I am now embarking on some new waves of thought concerning the “government of my temperaments”. In my mind, it means that I have a rational mind apart from my gut reactions. It means my heart is wise and will lead me down the paths toward good if I let it speak to me.

It means I want to learn to righteously govern myself. Then I could pass a bill that can create an internal emotional movement toward service or purposefulness. I could also learn how to veto a nonproductive, victim-based feeling that will only lead to negative outcomes like anger, hurt or misunderstanding in me or someone else.

I like Marcus’s Grandpa Verus. He’s teaching me some awesome new lessons this very day. I’m sure that my family who raised me will say that they did attempt to instill these things in me already, and they may have, to a point. Hell, I may be one really jacked up dude without their love and support!!

Truth is, just like the real title to this book “thoughts/writings addressed to himself”, (according to Wikipedia) we have to stand up as adults and decide it’s time to take control of the one and only thing in this world that we are capable of affecting.

Our own attitude.

This alone is my job today. I can do nothing to change the world around me, until I learn to intentionally change the world inside me.

I’m starting now, and I’ll let you know how it goes…. One more thing that people who grew up with me know… I’m not perfect. And that, I do not expect to ever change. I will however do something to make a difference in the one thing I can. Myself.

Thanks, With Sincere Love and Gratitude to everyone reading these words.

Aaron Nichols