Sliding, butt down through thick sludge. The caked-on guuuuk sticks to everything. Damp and slimy, covered head to toe, my trips lately into proper depression have been yucky.
Among all the goodness and light, signposts of progress and growth in my life, I can relate with Churchill, who referred to his “black dog” of depression that followed him around.
The irony is not lost on me, that I literally carry around a black dog (Roxy) in the back of my car, almost all the time 🙂
So anyway, the yucky-ness of the day had me exhausted by noon. My mind just packed full of oozing and disgusting thoughts of how crappy I’ve let myself become, my floundering career, my empty bank-accounts, my this and my that, blah-butty, blah, blah and blah!
This isn’t tooooo unusual, kinda comes and goes. Maybe like a lot of folks out there…
So, my mind was a sloppy mess, and sleep came easy.
A mid-day nap, today, may have been the end of an era, and to remind myself of this, I’m posting up my afternoon awakenings, for you, for me, for future reference…
So the nap lasted an hour, and when I woke somehow, some way, not by my own accord, the afternoon looked, smelled, tasted and even breathed a little lighter and sweeter.
A still small voice spoke to me in tiny whispers throughout the rest of the day…
“You’re too focused on YOU”
“You think all your problems are about You”
“Your issues and career and bank account and life are Not For You”
“You got out of debt, for You. You started this coaching thing for You. You’re quiet and hiding from your own possibilities, because you think it’s all about You…”
“You’re scared shitless, because you’re worried about what people think about You”
“You’re forgetting to focus your attention on Helping Others”
WOW. double. triple. quadruple… WOW.
That small voice, was God. I know because my entire being was lighter, every time it spoke. Lighter as in my mind, my body, and yes, my Soul, was being fed a Holy Truth.
Here ends the blogging based on my thoughts, my insights, my, my and my whatevers…
Now, Folks God is Good, and he likes to use people to spread His help around to others.
I am not flat out broke. I am not at my complete wits end. I have been blessed and blessed, drenched in His love and grace and favor upon favor.
I am in a highly unique and wonderful moment, in which I have watched and attended the funeral of my old life, grieved it’s loss, been lost in a new world, and just now re imagining a life that can encompass a vastly larger sense of purpose.
I’ve been racing so hard at certain goals, based on what I wanted, that I’ve burned out my motor. Then lost at sea, drifting can be dangerous and scary. Thank God, now I am being shown that all I have to do is raise my sails and let His winds, blow me where I’m really supposed to be going. It’s not about Me, It’s not up to Me, In fact, Me is irrelevant.
So weirdforgood world…
A new chapter begins: WeirdforYou, At Your Service.
What do You want? What do You need? Where are there places that You need to be heard? What questions does your black dog bark in the back of your mind? Is it anything I can assist you with?
I have some credentials:
I’ve been constructed with a creative imagination that may be of use to you.
I can tell you that my “High I” natural traits can include: Creative problem solver, Great leader, convincing spokesperson, Motivates and encourages others to achieve, Negotiates conflicts by taking positive action.
I’ve dealt with lots of death and family tragedy. This might of service to someone who is going through difficulty, and wants a presence that will not panic and bail, when the emotional-going gets tough.
I’ve been blessed with extra time to learn about a ton of subjects, mostly involving personal development and self-improvement. I could probably recommend authors and experts that I’ve read and even conversed with, who’s material could help your specific situation.
With a lot of experience in graphics and design, product printing, computer networking, creative writing, marketing, blogging, and yes, even Dave Ramsey’s methods that, with small changes, over time, can eliminate fear from our financial situations. With these skills, I may be of some use to You, or someone you know.
I have lots of technology at this robust home office, I even have plenty of time to spare. I have no complaints that are real, and lots of energy and brain-power to share…
See, I had backed myself into a depressive corner with my own heavy-weight boxer thoughts, then God touched those thoughts with the lightest little whisper, and they were “poof”, gone. I am quite thankful, and ready to serve.
Consider this blog an invitation. I’ve got resources to keep me going financially. This is not a plea for your customer-ship. Simply put, I can serve, right now, just as I am, with the skills and abilities I have, and I intend to do so. You don’t have to trust me on this, Test Me.
I may have crossed a threshold; I hope I have. It won’t ever matter however, if I keep this all to myself. It’s not for me. It could be through me. It will only be because of Him.
Call My Cell 785-218-6134
Email Me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Or stop by my house: 102 Main, Princeton, KS 66078
And answer this question: “How May I Serve You.”
I’m ready to get to work 🙂
Thank You, Sincerely,