Better late than never, right?
So this writing today, has been bumped and put off and shuffled to the back of my mind. So what. I could beat on myself for not having done it earlier, or that I’m a procrastinator, or that I could ‘never be’ some certain type of person, because I don’t get things done early, or even usually on time.
What does that really have to do with anything? It’s the DOING that does count.
See, the little trick, is that once we’ve passed the threshold of when it was ‘supposed to’ be done, or how it ‘should be’, we just forget the thing all together. Instead of late, we choose never. Too Often.
I’ve heard people say things like: ‘In my next life’ or ‘In a perfect world’ or even the oft’ used ‘someday’ to describe something we’d like to do, but probably never will. Somehow though, we don’t want to admit that it really live in the land of ‘Never’.
Too final. Too bleak. Too hopeless. So let’s say… “In my next life’… HA! Kinda silly idn’t it.
I do this stuff all the time. If my physical world was as full of action and accomplishments and discipline and results, as my mental picture of my life… well, that’d really be something spectacular!! You have no idea the imagination and thought I have invested into these sort of daydreams. It’s not all mental though, I’ve even drawn pictures, and searched online and printed pictures… I’ve made Vision Boards!! Yeah! That makes things happen!!
It’s in the action. It’s in the pounding of these keys. A sentence shows up, not by pondering the words, but by typing them. Our ‘someday’ goals will show up, not by considering and meditating on them, but by doing a small action Today, in pursuit of that goal. And I’m reminded by my mentors, like Steve Chandler and John Groberg, to not make it a goal, but a Game. We like to play games. We enjoy being in the competition, and playing and being creative in the moment of a game. The pursuit of a ‘goal’ sounds like work, and most of us have heard generations before, complain about work. And talk about how tough things are with work. And how exhausted they are from it, or how glad they’ll be when they don’t have to work anymore… so when given the chance to do more work?? We skip it.
A game is more fun however. We can play to win, or we can learn from a loss. We can see ourselves improving along the way. We can measure results by the score. We get to be on a team. We share in our victories, console each other in defeat. Gamesmanship entices our inner-child. Hard Work, with a stern, furrowed brow, is something we avoid when we can. And the sad part of this truth, is that our jobs, or what we do to earn a living, is just something to bring the elusive freedom of a comfortable life. Rarely, in a j-o-b situation do are we really trying to grow as a person. Rarely, are we trying to rise up and become the best of ourselves for the common cause. Rarely, because we are an employee. We want to ‘get through’ instead of ‘give-it-all’.
So let’s try something new. Make it a Game. Make anything a GAME!
Our work life, our relationships, our spiritual walk, our financial life! Make it a game! Pick ahead of time the rules of play, that you would like to follow, be creative, make them up. Then decide ahead of time, what you will call victory, what you will consider defeat. However you choose to define this, will define your effort too. Make it hard to win, you’ll play hard. Make it easy, you’ll fritter away your talent and true ability.
I had a conversation this week, before our volleyball match, with the head of the opposing team. We’ve played against each other several times, I see him around town, a good guy. We started to discuss that neither one of us had been in athletics growing up. He shared first that he was scared to get involved in sports as a kid. Me too, I said. I recalled how even in middle school, and especially high school, I knew that I had not been into sports as a very young boy, so I was behind. I didn’t know already how it all worked, like the other guys did.
I had missed my chance. At 14 years old, I got these ideas that it was too late, to try. I should just give up, and go find an easier game to play. So I did. It was beer parties in fields and country cruising for me during high school. I didn’t think I had it in me, to become a player. To learn a sport. To train and work hard, and develop muscles to win. So I skipped the whole thing altogether. I chose a game I knew I could win. Get drunk. That’s an accomplishment!! Yeah!
Anyway, it’s fun now, at 34 years old, to be on a volleyball team with my wife and friends. It’s fun to move my body and see what it can do. It’s fun to feel that victory, and sucks to lose too. I’m glad I didn’t wait longer to give this a try. In the last couple years, there have been several things like this that I do now, that I used to think were out of my ability or skill level or, ‘I’m just not that kind of person.’
I can be any kind of person I want to be. It may not be easy at first. But it is NEVER, no NEVER, really truly absolutely NEVER too late to begin.
Choose the new rules of your life today. Make it a game. What can you accomplish in the next hour, that would be something you’ve been putting off for a loooong time. It’s a phone call, it’s a message to someone you love. It’s world changing to you, and to them. Then what else? What game can you construct that would inspire you, and fire you up to want to win? What is something that you have in your ‘someday’ list, (meaning never) that you want to move into your ‘I’m playing toward’ list?
A few moments ago, I thought this post was going to have to wait till the afternoon. Wait till I knew what I really wanted to share this week. It’s been a truly happy week. Meaning it’s been full of all the emotions of life. I knew this week that I was alive. I could feel it. Through smiles of nephews, to frustrations and anger, to full warmth and joy and surprise. All these things for me, must add up to happiness.
I was stuck yesterday, with that thought. What is happiness? Have I ever been happy? Will I ever be happy? I have such a roller coaster of emotions all the time. It’s true. Do I only want the peaks of that track? Do I want to tell others, that ‘Yes, I’m Happy!’ meaning there is no struggle, no hardship, no drama in my life? Just the peaks, no valleys? Nope. I don’t think so. Right now, I will dig deep, while sitting in my car, by the gravestone of my father, and my uncle, and grandmother, and grandad… I’ll just talk and ask questions… and hear this message:
- Being in this life is happiness… From their perspective, all of what we experience here is beautiful. It’s all part of the plan. It’s all just a big ole game, and it doesn’t last very long either. So don’t quit in the middle, or stop too long to cry, just keep playing and enjoy it the best you can. You have more help and support and talent and ability than you can possibly dream of.
It’s never to late to figure that out 🙂
Let’s make up some Games, and Start again Fresh Right Now!
You’re invited to join the next weirdforgood hangout, and engage in our online workshop – you’ll need a free Google+ account, 45minutes to work with us, at 5:30 CST. You need a device with a camera & headset/microphone. If you can Skype, you can do this, (it’s actually really easy ) Then email me at firstname.lastname@example.org – before Tuesday – I’ll send you the hangout invite through Google+ when we start.
Check out all of my video workshop Hangouts here, to get a feel for it. Join us if you dare!
From Steve Chandler:
I love what John Groberg writes about
the difference between games and goals.
The problem with allowing your goals
to remain goals is that they always have a
worrisome, almost life-threatening quality
to them. How serious they are!!!
And therefore they are thought about
by the most fearful part of your brain. It
sends a chill wind through your mind just
thinking about your big goal. How can you
joyfully create from THAT space?
How can you have huge energy and
innovation from that overly serious approach?
Here’s what John Groberg says (and
you can find him here: http://www.spiralupyoga.com/)
1) The personality resists goals, but not games (if designed right).
2) The nature of the soul is joy and playing games for the sake of playing. Observe young children to see the nature of the soul when it comes to goals vs. games. Challenge = Fun to the soul. Challenge = To be avoided, to the personality.
3) The Personality, when too much in control, is a sore loser. A good game is fun to play regardless of how things appear (to the personality) to turn out. My well-being is never at stake, I’m just playing a game that I might win or lose. I’m playing a game because I’m coming from innate well-being, not because I’m trying to get to it.