I’m doing INSANITY!

It’s either a practiced response that is like a muscle getting stronger with exercise, attention and time, or it’s INSANITY.

That’s the only way I can describe my calm, peace of mind and even happiness lately.

And here’s a great follow-up question…

Does it matter?

Isn’t what we’re really wanting, is feeling real good, to own confidence and steadiness? Don’t we do almost all things in an attempt to inch closer to peace and harmony, delight and fun? We are force-fed like foie gras geese, all the ways we can buy happiness, and then all the reasons we ‘should’ be stressed out and worried about things beyond our control… Oops… Actually, I think I may have stumbled upon an insight here…

We aren’t foie gras geese. No one grabs us by the neck and forces this sickening information down our throats. No one bolts us to the floor in front of the evening news which is designed to inflame your most sensitive emotions night after night. It isn’t a law punishable by death that we’re required to read every junky post on facebook about someone’s stressed out day, or their rage at a stupid driver on the way to work, or how they could run a professional sports franchise better than those who’re actually getting paid to do it. And even, dare I say it, there isn’t an electric bolt of lightning coming, to fry those who don’t immediately ‘check’ your phone or computer when it ‘dings’ at you!!

We choose to invest, and to literally ‘pay’ attention to these things. They cost us, they drain our ‘time-accounts’. They’re life suckers. I have made some decisions about the way I view this stuff for myself. Ask me about current events… I don’t know them. Ask me about the weather coming up… I haven’t got a clue. Ask me if I’ve heard about any recent new Hollywood movies or celebrity gossip?? Yeah, Right.

And again I say, that recently, I’ve been blessed to be in action enough, to be in work enough, to be in love enough, to be in study enough, to be in exercise enough, to be in playtime enough, to be in-cahoots enough with special people… to deeply, calmly smile 🙂

Oh, did I forget to mention, that this same week my bank accounts are the lowest of anyone you know? Near zero is low, right? Oh yeah, did I mention that we had some tough conversations right here in our house, with my lovely wife, that we’re feeling worn out by all the hard work with little payoff? Oh yeah, and then there’s the future, which has no guarantee around here. From many viewpoints, I can’t prove myself much closer to my own goals, meaning, real results, real tangible dollars and cents results, than ever. I am a husband who flat isn’t producing my own fair share, and I would LOVE TO… Dang!

So, back to the beginning… It’s either a practiced response that is like a muscle getting stronger with exercise, attention and time, or it’s insanity… that I feel as good as I do. This morning I am just in awe and gratitude that this crazy thing called life is still happening, moment after improbably unlikely moment. I get a real thrill, from seeing it that way 🙂

I guess this means our happiness isn’t about those outside things. It must just be a choice, based on nothing but a decision I get to make at any time. I can say that this week has been movement, motion, step after briskly taken step, and the reptile-mind finds less opportunity for worry, less time to dwell on the ‘why-nots’, less time for this imaginary thing we call stress.

You know there is one more possibility, about this peace and calm… Maybe it’s Jesus 🙂

Thanks be to God!


Aaron Nichols


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