Will today be the day? The day I it all comes crashing down? The day the inevitable comes and the good stuff ends? Could this be the day I fail?
I sit here again in front of my screen, as I have for the last 27 months. My goal is to write my weekly blog post. For 27 months it has happened.
Yet this morning, after a late start and a ‘I’d rather be in bed’ attitude. I literally had the thought pass by, ‘What if I can’t write today? What if nothing comes out? What if this is the end of what I’ve had to say?”
The irony here and what IS worth writing about this morning, is how easily, predictably, foolishly our natural tendency is toward Lack. At it’s root, Lack is evil. It freezes us. We can spend 27 straight months doing something once per week, then all of a sudden, in the moment, truly believe that it can’t happen again. Silly, huh? But, it’s not just that.
Lack is Fear. Fear of no more. Fear that it’s all used up. Fear that the piece of the pie is small and finite and I gotta get mine, and if you get yours, then you’re taking what I could have had. Lack is stinky stuff. When you’re on the lookout for Lack, you can see it everywhere. It is a HUGE part of our culture, our daily lives and even integral to how we’ve been taught that smart, responsible and upright citizens operate. The awareness of Lack is a sick and backwards way to navigate God’s beautiful and abundant creation.
BTW – I am again today writing this note to myself 🙂
Lack means we think we have something to lose, and will be in desperate pain if it’s gone. There is a lot of assumption in there. Our thinking that we ‘had something’ in the first place is kinda silly. We came into the world with nothing, we’ll leave with nothing, yet we try and try to accumulate, hoard and secure, then fear we’ll lose it and be left with nothing…
Right now, in this very exact moment of life, if we breathe deeply and stop the mind from straying into the future or the past, if we just breathe and feel our body relax… we can ask a profound question.
‘What is missing?’