Early Christmas Present, a Brand New World

“It’s okay to really enjoy life, right now, under these exact circumstances.”

Thank You to my Coach Megan, and to God for presenting me with one of the most powerful moments of my life this week.

I have a conversation, about me, with an amazing person every Wednesday. We work on all kinds of things, sometimes my Coaching practice, sometimes my Clients’ issues, sometimes we go deeeeeeeep… The time is around 90 minutes, the cost is pricey, the reward is astronomical, and my Coach’s name is Megan, which is just too crazy…

Last week, I completed a huge goal with her, and I was high. It was a great feeling to act and produce and serve and earn my way into an agreement we had set together. Then I crashed. The weekend was a struggle, my brain was crummy, my outlook dingy and dark.

During our call this week, she showed me something amazing. My set-point on my barometer of success, or joy, or positive accomplishment had been spiked by hitting my big goal. Therefore, an ancient and survival-based part of my lizard brain, was helping me, by bringing me back down and into balance for the next few days…

This lead to more work, deeper work. Why is my set point, well, low?

She asked if I had anything happen, early in my life, that may have given me a reason to believe something like: “When good things happen, something bad will follow soon.” or “It’s not okay to feel really happy for any extended period of time.”

…Umm probably 🙂

So we started an exercise, a meditation, a journey into the mind, mine.

We did deep breathing, I let things go. I thought of my Dad. I was actually thinking about the little 4 year old version of me, who was the last part of me, who saw my Dad before he died. I was following Megan’s lead through this vision. I was aware of upset and anger, I was aware of tears and sad faces. I was aware that there were still parts of me, who hurt because I lost my Dad at a young age, and I missed him, and I grew up without him, and I resented that too. I saw my own faces standing in darkness, they needed my help now.

We talked about a brilliant column of light, we talked about Jesus lending me a hand, we invited myselves into it. I wanted to stand strong today, for my 4-year-old self, and show him love, understand his tears, and hug him. There were more though; a teenager full of angst and rage, a high-schooler striving and feeling small, and even the last weekend me, a grown man who was feeling edgy and on the brink, after a great couple weeks of work…

They were just the start. I had invited these boys into a hug, a group hug, and then more came forward, almost instantly there were hundreds. In the center, I saw this light and the love of Jesus bathing and cleaning us all. Tears were washing away. On the phone with Megan, I was choked up, words were jumping across the airwaves, I wasn’t controlling them exactly. I told her that I did see the littlest face look up at me smiling. He was silently nodding, acknowledging this love and this moment. It seemed there was an agreement and a message. Not with words, but just love. Then the edges blurred, the forms faded, I was back into my chair, at my desk, in my house. I immediately saw a picture, It was all I could see. Dad was smiling 🙂


I felt different. I literally felt a tiny seed of my being, a compact and brilliant little speck of the real me growing… It was just expanding like a heavy gas. It was now the size of my body and just a little bigger, Waving both my arms I could barely reach it’s edges. My set-point was moving. I liked it. I could breath into it, bigger, deeper, I was relaxing into me.

The next morning, in the shower, I had a thought. Like every person, like every day, we have these thoughts rushing through us in normal moments, like as many drops of water. But this one was different. It was life-changing. It was a gift from God.

“It’s okay to really enjoy life, right now, under these exact circumstances.”

See this was a new understanding. Brand spanking new. Fresh. Delightful.

Can you blame me, for having believed the opposite for so long? Maybe you’re different, maybe you don’t see things this way, I hope so. I was operating from a place that looked like this: “It’s only okay to enjoy life a little bit. You know, you lost your Dad when you were 4 years old. You didn’t get along with your Step-Dad growing up. You are an angry person and have done many things wrong over your years. You’ve messed up a lot. You’ve seen suicide, you’ve quit your job, you aren’t exactly where you thought you would be by now. It would be rude to love your life, the way it is, without him, without cousin Megan, without doing more things better. It just wouldn’t be right.”

Yeah, uh, I guess it is hard to feel real great, for very long, coming from there…

So, I was set free this week. I was given a foundation-rocking truth. I am today, this morning, on 12-21-12 in a new-born world. The old one died. I’m cradling a miracle.

It is profoundly true that, “It’s okay to really enjoy life, right now, under these exact circumstances.”

As this gift came to me yesterday morning, I had circumstances. Being almost flat out of money right before Christmas. My car had not started the night before. I was about to begin working on it, in a snowy cold parking lot. There has been real tragedy in our world recently. There were reasons to choose to not feel good…

And yet, I felt compelled to think, over and over, all day long, “It’s okay to really enjoy life, right now, under these exact circumstances.”

Guess what happened. I had the exact amount of money show up, that I needed to get the car fixed. My Step-Dad Joe and my friend Kevin, showed up, completely open to helping fix the car. It all worked out perfectly. It wasn’t easy, but I was never upset with it. I wasn’t sheepish that I have an older car, that was broken and not a newer nicer one. I wasn’t hiding my little seed of myself from the world, hoping to just ‘get-through’ another situation. I was open and relaxed and enjoyed all the blessings that were pouring in.

I admired the moments of the day, I’m admiring strong sunshine right now. This isn’t a positive thinking thing. This is a New World.

“It Truly is Okay, to really enjoy life, right now, under these exact circumstances.”


Aaron Nichols


4 thoughts on “Early Christmas Present, a Brand New World

  1. Such good words you have spilled out. We are so anxious to see you–soon very soon!! Your Grandmother.

  2. You leave me weeping.
    Yes, I need those words.
    Wish I could tap into having that whole experience – of reassuring the ‘little me’ – broken-hearted, fearful, miserable-the-most at Christmas – that’s its okay, Its time to move on.
    “It’s okay to really enjoy life, right now, under these exact circumstances.”

  3. A beautiful retelling of your experiences this week, Aaron. The healing power of Jesus washes over your past in the power of a flood and in the sense of a misty rain at the same time. God has put a wise coach in your path my friend and I’m so happy to see healing in that area. I admire you for going into the deep places. May God bless you and Lindsay immensely.

    Let’s walk each day with those wise words: “It’s okay to really enjoy life, right now, under these exact circumstances.”

  4. Wow Aaron
    I am honored and humbled by how you dig deep inside yourself, how you are willing to hear feedback that you sometimes don’t want to hear and you not only hear it you bring it in to yourself and change your life. Im imagining most people reading this post know how extraordinary you are and I too as I work with you am continually amazed at who you are. When new coaches come to me for advise on how to build a practice I tell them to do their inner work, go to the deep places inside yourself so you can lead people through theirs. Because each of us can only allow as much success as our lowest self concept. It takes unbelievable courage to do what you are doing. You have chosen a sacred path. There are many waiting to be brought through to their light their new worlds and I cant think of a better guide. You give back to me in your heart and courage more than I could ever give you. And that picture of you and your father is one of the sweetest pictures I have ever seen. It showed me so much about who you are and where you came from. You are a beautiful soul my friend. I Stand All Amazed.
    Much Love and Happy New World

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