Poof! It was like they just disappeared! I don’t know the exact moment when. Or which ones specifically left first. But a bunch of my life-long ideas, my limiting beliefs and my ‘stories’ about my own shortcomings and undeserving-ness went away this week.
I do know Why.
I can’t afford them anymore.
Funny, when in hindsight we find out how rich we’ve really been in our lives.
Rich enough to procrastinate. Rich enough to waste time. Rich enough to run mind-circle after mind-circle thinking about how I’m not good enough, to do, or have or become, the person I’d really like to be…
Yeah, that was a reality for me.
I have been doing this coaching thing in a new way for the last year or so.
I have been coached by world-class individuals.
However, I had not yet hired a longer-term agreement, a very expensive agreement.
I have paid very well for coaching in smaller chunks, but for me this one was a biggie.
In fact, it took all the rest of my stash of money, that I’ve held onto since 2010.
Yup, the emergency fund is gone.
Spent purposefully, to create urgency. To step forward boldly once again into a new created future. To hire expert support, guidance and honest challenging feedback.
It was spent for Launch.
And now, I can no longer afford to hold onto my limiting, victim-oriented, blame-game thoughts that keep me from moving forward or taking action.
Writing the big check was like sitting butt-down into a super-speed slipper-slide that took me up, up, up the ladder of consciousness. Like a reverse-gravity fall. A true mind-shift.
Sure it was scary. Of course! But the movement, and freedom of release, leaves us only one direction to focus, and that is forward my friends.
And Forward Feels Good!
There is this thing in the world called Coaching. It creates powerful and amazing results in the lives of real people. I have experienced the teaching and coaching from the world’s best. In person I’ve seen this work transform. I’ve been transformed.
And I now boldly declare ‘I Can Help You.’
(see I would’ve been too afraid to do that before 🙂 )
The funny part is, that when I had my first conversation with Megan Sillito, that would lead to me requesting her fee and a contract with her, I coached her first.
Yes, it was a peer coaching (back and forth) call, that I began as Coach, her as Client.
Our work together was deep and moving and fun. I was flattered when she added the results of our work, to her daily mantra script. She had developed it previously with her world-class coach Rich Litvin. This was a big success moment for me.
Then when the tables turned, and I showed her my inner desires for really serving people, instead of just talking about it, I first brought up the need for support longer-term.
It’s fun when someone sees you playing with fire and wants to join in. Even to help you spread that fire around and add a bunch of their own fuel to the flames. Megan’s sassy like that, and we’re a good fit. This is going to be Real Fun!
I don’t know if this blog will survive the Launching process, or if it will transform into something new. I do know that already, my writing has been the tool of my new actions.
I have YOU, the reader, to thank for that.
Without somebody out there watching these words every week, I wouldn’t have been honing this skill for over two years now.
We’ll see if it’s true that “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
So, as I look back at all the reasons why I haven’t been inviting conversations that could have supported and ignited other people’s dreams immensely, they seem so small.
Funny, that I was really too cushioned, and too complacent in my relative ‘richness’ to actually step up and challenge these baby speedbumps.
Gathering No’s and Working, really Working for people is my bold commitment.
It has to be, I’ve given myself no choice.
Thank You Megan for ‘tossing your hat in the ring’ as someone who wants to play All Out and Up Our Game Together.
Thank You God, for being patient with me, for your steadfast love. A love so deep that it allows me to make my own mistakes. To persistently hold myself back. To strain and fight to keep my own light dim, while you know the brightness you created in all of us.
I’m again amazed.