For years now, we have joked and talked about my old dog Morgan. The energizer bunny of the canine world; this shaggy black Shepard/Collie mix has been through it all. In her 16.5 years she’s had both front legs broken, fought in tons of scraps and battles, then even got run over by me in my own driveway a year and a half ago.
She refused to give up.
She kept on going and going and going. In the last year or so, even with one eye blind and a busted up partially working body, she kept going…
Today was just like any other day for Morgan – she was in her favorite cool spot on the garage floor, she stumbled to get a drink, stumbled back and pretty much was just chillin.
Little did she know that I had already planned for “her time” to come before Memorial Day Weekend. Sure the past week had it’s extra struggles for her, but not much more than any other… so how did I know it was time?
I had prepared myself and I had prayed and today around noon, I felt at peace enough to load her up one last time and take her to town….
I was choking myself up in the hour or so before I left. I felt like it was somehow unfair for me to decide the moment that was right… I was hoping it would happen naturally before now, so I could avoid the responsibility of it… I knew that her fate was up to me and I was just praying that I was making the right choice for her.
Then one of those “God Thoughts” popped into my head while I was contemplating things out in the back yard…
Morgan is old. Really old for her breed. She’s in terrible health. She is in obvious daily pain. This choice for me to let her go is actually easy when you look at it like that… It’s the right thing to do.
What about God’s choice to let people go?
This week started out with a vicious tornado ripping through Joplin, Missouri. It took the lives of at least 122 people. Sure the houses and things are gone. The replaceable things. But the people and families that will never see each other… well, that is pain that stays with us forever.
I think of other times that God has taken people out of this physical world. Like my Dad drowning when I was four years old. Or my cousin Megan, who left my heart shattered… Or my good buddy Derrick, such a young and vibrant newlywed dynamite blast of a guy to be around… These are just a few of the spectacular people I am privileged to have known, loved and lost over the years…
How hard do you think it hurts God to know that somehow, someway, in terms that are Impossible for us to understand, he’s done the right thing?
He loves us. He’s taken us on as his responsibility. He’s created us and this world. But, his ways of thinking are not like ours…
Isaiah 55:8 (New International Version)
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
So just like me today, when I was holding Morgan’s head and petting her coarse black fur for the last time, I do think that God knows the right thing to do.
I have not always thought that. Plenty of people I know have experienced my sadness, rage and terror in these tragic moments. I may not always be able to understand from now forward either… But, in this moment, when I had my tiny version of playing God, I did.
I do know that if we let him, he’ll lovingly hold us and care for us in these painful times of loss and transition.
I feel that God’s Grace and presence has been shown this week with the absolute outpouring of support, love, donations and assistance to the Joplin area. If you have loved ones down there, then prayers are continuing for you and your family. This human loving connection is now showing it’s amazing abilities, and awesome it is.
I hope this meandering off of the financial topics for this week is okay with you. I thank every reader of this blog that I have a place to share my “God Thoughts” and all my other crazy ones too. Please share yours with me. I would love to hear them 🙂
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