My dream is about creation and loving thru service, service that shows up in many real ways, artwork painting life in brighter shades, exposing the brilliant colors we all hide behind a taupe and bland neutral normality, finally letting God’s Gifts be seen.
And usually I’m heading for that dream at 100mph or Zero.
Lately, it’s been a lot of Zero.
Because of my two-speed system. It tend to have more Zero than 100. Embarrassingly, it’s something that I’ve even been quite proud of over the course of my 33 years.
Sure many moments are All-Out, full-speed, risk-it-all and go-for-it! They’re countless actually. Some big, some small, but tons of times, where I’m committed and playing hard. Pushing maybe too hard. At Best, in-the-zone and cranking on whatever project or problem is at hand. I’m a beast at making it happen, using creativity & brains too.
That is the 100mph me.
In contrast, the other speed is Zero.
Oh Baby, can I be Mr. Zero. The moments when things aren’t going my way, I hit Zero. The times that lack direction and purpose and urgency, are not slow-mo – they’re Zero. When I feel backed into a corner, or pressured, or irritated, STOP, DIG-IN, I’M AT ZERO – NO BUDGING! If the outlook seems bleak, and I figure my efforts are now being wasted, I say ‘screw it’, I’ll just quit, and go start somewhere else, try something new, that may work out this new next time… How often, or how many times am I in this mode, this go-nowhere, or stop it, screw it, 0mph speed? Waay more often than 100mph. Dat’s for sure.
Somehow, I guess I rationalize that overall it evens out, or balances, or if I keep on keepin’ on, then someday, I will beat this thing that stops me, and I’ll more often be at top speed and really get my life moving, Right?
Truthfully, I don’t usually put that much thought into it. It is just such a natural rhythm to me that I feel good at top speed, and expect these big moments out of myself. Conversely, I also feel depressed and stinky-thinky when stuck. Has it always been this way? I don’t know that this two-speed example is perfect for all situations, but many over a lifetime.
It does point toward a belief that Results are Permanent.
Even, It is what It is. And that’s not true 🙂
BOOM!!! NOW INTRODUCING A NEW THOUGHT!!! BOOM!!! ANOTHER WAY!!!
Yeah, my kickass Coach – Megan, showed me a new trick this week. Honestly, I have to tell you that this idea and concept sounded so foreign, so new and so fresh, that I asked her to really illustrate what she meant. Sounded like gibberish at first 🙂
The bi-polar 2 speed approach that I’ve practiced for years, normally gets me two things: Awesomeness and Pure Adrenaline, or Depression and Self Loathing.
Nothing in between…
The new idea she showed me, was somewhere in the middle: It’s Renegotiation.
Wow, really, this idea is amazing to me. Renegotiation can happen at a point between 100mph or Zero. Renegotiation can happen when we’re slowing down from a super-fun and productive mood. Renegotiation can happen when we want to move just a tiny bit faster than a stand-still, but cannot reach full blast. We can negotiate the parameters again, right now, right here, from this exact point. Amazing.
It’s a fresh start. It deletes the past. It’s not clinging to a fake future. It’s a point at which we make a new agreement, from this exact perspective, given where we are at right now. We are not stuk on a track and heading only this way, or have to follow it because of a previous choice of fork in the road.
Renegotiation is a slight pause of recognition that we need one. Then it’s a calculation and inventory of our current capability, our current location. Then it’s a new agreement on the goal, maybe even a new goal, and a short and simple “what’s next” to eventually reach it.
The Renegotiation concept has a Siamese twin attached to it. Re-commitment. See, in that moment, we get to re-commit and express our intention aloud. We say YES, I really Do want this thing. Yes, even though I’m moving slow, I will do one small step today toward my goal. Or No, My commitment is to something else. My commitment was confused before, I was mistaken. Now I’m thankful that I see the truth in my own lack of progress… It showed me what I really wanted, and it wasn’t what I thought.
So there. Renegotiate/Recommit – A Priceless pair.
What parts of my life, are due for a Renegotiation? Almost all of em!!
Relationships – Career – Money – Spirituality – Physically – Friendships – Schedule – Civic – Charity… the list goes on… If I know you, personally, very well at all… It’s probably time that we Renegotiate and look again to find the best way to proceed with life together, that helps us both, and brings LIFE and LOVE back.
I’m wide open tonight – On Thanksgiving night – I’m thankful that I have a lot of opportunity for Renegotiation and Re-commitment to important people and things in my life… I love you very much.
In my formerly broken system of 100mph or Zero, I had no mechanism to handle these huge life shifts that I’ve chosen. I either wanted things to be with me 100% or Gone…
Now the only thing I want gone, is the old ways… and I ask the Almighty Father, for his help with that. This is a moment to repent, to about-face, and to overcome.
I’m thirsty for Renegotiation. I’m ready for fresh starts from right here, right now. This work can produce traction, in small ways. It’s capable of creating a movement of balance. With Renegotiation and Re-commitment, the flow can ebb, it can wax and wane, even teeter and totter, yet stay moving forward, toward Love…
And Love… well; It’s All Ya’ Need 🙂