Driving mile after mile along the Pacific Coast Highway today, I relived my 2010 roadtrip that included this same route through L.A. and south along the beachfronts.
At the time, I considered it a life-altering turning point.
Today however, as I saw the same landmarks, enjoyed the same ocean and realized that the free-wheeling sense of adventure I’d sparked on that trip, has not only continued to burn, but it burned away the old, and new has regrown.
See, one thing that stuck out in my mind from the first time I raced through L.A. traffic, was the cars, the homes, the sense of indulgence that bathes the boulevard, like the sunshine itself.
Back then, this indulgent display irked me. I saw it all as a farce.
It was the vast amounts of money running down the road on four-wheels, (in my mind) with fat payment books dragging behind them. The spanish villas piled up on top of each other bothered me too, each one scraping and clawing at the other for a peek of ocean.
The contrast of worlds, vs my home, my car, my way of life, was shocking my system.
I felt offended somehow that all this ‘stuff’ existed, that it seemed to be worshipped and idolized and I let it get to me.
Let’s go back shall we?
Remember, the summer of 2010 was a time that I had recently accomplished my journey to debt-freedom. I was deeply deeply entrenched against any and all things that were ‘bought’ with borrowed money. I felt such a huge release and empowerment from paying off every penny of debt in my life, that I could envision this for everyone else too, and I wanted it bad.
Bad enough to quit my job. Bad enough to pour myself into learning an entirely new trade. And resting my happiness on whether or not, people started to feel and see, the same things that I felt and saw…………
Here’s the thing that was Crystalized today with my run down the One, with the same surf and sun and flashy cars and amazingly beautiful homes…
All that angst and bitterness had nothing to do with the kompressors and the villas. It was inside of me.
See, even though I had reached my personal goals of debt freedom. Even though I had made these bold moves and launched myself into an exciting adventure, the person I did that with, was still the old me.
I have learned so much since then. And the results have created a change and a new understanding. But all through the failures of my first intentions.
What I recognize now, is that I was stuffed full of Victim Behavior for as long as I can remember. This Victim Behavior is a system that was perfect for producing the results in my life that I had. For a long time they had good and bad results.
And since we’re talking about financial stuff, I’ll just stick with that concept here 🙂
So anyway, in my Victim-ness I had made decisions that racked up silly loans, credit card debt, and all that jazz. Probably, because I thought things like: “life is short, I better play hard,” and other excuses for taking the easy road to ‘stuff.’
So in that very same Victim mode, I saw what I had done to myself, my finances, then became bitter and upset with that. So I railed against my former behaviors, changed them up, and moved out of the red hole of debt and into the black.
Even with this accomplishment, it was a black place to be mentally.
As long as I looked at these outside objects, or past decisions as my problems in life, I was going to remain hostage to them. A self-induced imprisionment.
So visiting California for the first time?? I saw a bunch of ‘stuff’ that went against my proudly donned armor of frugality and budget conciousness… Or did it??
Truthfully, I have NO IDEA who has a payment on the cars on these roads. I have no idea about the cost or the expenditures or the reserve accounts of anyone out here…
And it doesn’t matter.
Today, as I drove along, I enjoyed the beautiful german driving machines. I was in awe of the detail and asthetics of the beachfront estates, mansions and even the bungalows.
I have new eyes to see with. They are the eyes of an Owner.
This Victim vs. Owner concept comes from a man that I respect and admire: Steve Chandler. I’ll be hanging out with him tomorrow.
An Owner doesn’t spend his time worrying or thinking about what other people are doing with their money, or their car or their whatever.
An Owner doesn’t much care at all, unless there is a request from someone to help, and caring may serve that person.
An Owner is going to be in his space, thinking about his own life and how specatacular it is. Because every single part of it, is something he Chose to create. He accepts all the past choices. He’s focused on the Now. His Actions implement new systems to produce new results, and, as a byproduct is a much, much happier individual.
These are things Dave Ramsey didn’t teach me…
Actually, if it weren’t for Dave, I wouldn’t met Steve. But if it weren’t for Wayne, I wouldn’t have been open to Casey who told me about Dave… and blah, blah, blah…
Through the last few weeks of working with coaching clients, real people, just like you and me, I’ve introduced them to this concept of Victim vs. Owner.
Through my drive today, I can feel that this concept has taken real root in me.
I didn’t see things to be offended by today. I saw beauty and possiblity, and ideas for my future. The people enjoying this stuff right now? I tip my hat to them, I wish them the best.
I wish to see them again soon.
And maybe I’ll be the one with a flashy car next time.
Not because it makes me better than I am right now. Just because we get to choose our own lives. We get to create what we want. When we become Owners of our own lives, we can get to work building that creation.
I’m clocking in at 9:00 a..m. Pacific tomorrow, for another weekend full of learning this craft of Coaching with real life, heavy hitters, who’ve proven that truly serving and truly helping others, creates amazing success for everyone involved.
See ya soon, back home, with Love.