Our scorching, steamy, skin-boiling, triple-digit, giant umbrella of air got blown away by a tree-shaking, dust-making, mighty cooooooool, north wind gale last Sunday afternoon.
Sitting inside the house, enjoying the A/C, working at the computer, as I had been for the last few sweltering weeks… The noticing of this breeze through window and hearing the sounds of the commotion it was causing, made my left eyebrow slowly raise up, as I said “Huh???”
Ahh!! I dashed out the front door and beheld a generously sized dark gray thunderhead looming above the field north of my house. I popped back inside to snag the camera and figured Roxy would sit for a couple front-yard-storm-cloud pics 🙂
I took ’em…
With that STR-ONG wind a’ blowin’ I couldn’t help but notice that something crazay was happening to my head.
In case we haven’t visited in person in the last few months or so… Almost 9 to be exact. 🙂 This may be new news to you: I have grown out a partial head of curly locks of hair. For the 14 years prior to last Thanksgiving-ish, I had a very shortly-shorn, buzzed to the scalp look. Upon letting it go long, I have been quite surprised by what has sprouted. As the pictures you’re about to see will show, it’s a very unique, distinct and somewhat mad-scientisty hairdon’t. With that Sunday wind blowing this birds-nest all around, I had to shoot some pics to see what it looked like.
And… I quite amused myself with the results! Lindsay, however, was less enthused 🙂
So, why do I choose to show you these pictures, and tell you this rather laaaame story of wind in my hair and all that jazz??
Well, truth is. I have somewhat LIED to people when they ask me about WHY I grew my hair out. Usually, I say something like “Oh you know, time for a change.”
This is actually a more personal, metaphysical and sensitive subject than I usually care to share as I pass someone at The Wal-Marts who hasn’t seen me since the old shaven head days, and says “Oh, I didn’t recognize ya there, since you grew your beard out!”
“Try Risking Your Identity”
This is exactly why I grew this crazay stuff out of my noggin.
I chose to make a life change just over a year ago, which we’ll discuss often here at weirdforgood.com. And although, my then, oh-so-wise brain had everything figured out about the path to personal happiness through the adventure of self-employment, I had no clue how clue-less I was. (Luckily, being clue-less is one key taking action! When you don’t know the consequences, it’s easier to get moving!) Anyway, this week marks a year since I began working on my new business True North Financial Fitness Coaching, and back then I was full of energy and pride in that endeavor…
But… I was the only one so excited about it… The following few months contained some very tough and heartbreaking (for me) conversations between myself and some people very close to me, which severely impacted my tender ego. I was hurt and disappointed that my heartfelt vision seemed to now fall on an empty, disapproving or heckling audience. This information is given to clearly paint the picture of a man who found out the hard way the truth in this quote:
“You have to overcome the tug of people against you as you reach for high goals”
– George S. Patton
Given the extra time I had on my hands and nowhere to go but up from there, I kept at study, kept the faith and found out that one of my MAIN issues I was suffering from, was my own list of inner “Shoulds”. My ego was bruised up; in pain and as I came to find out… It is an appendage that I am in control of! Ha! I get to decide whether or not to internalize and worry over the opinions of others about what I am doing or not doing or whatever. As I found out through study:
“What you think of me, is none of my business.” – Wayne Dyer
This idea of a release from the good or bad opinion of others weaves its way through all the writings of the Masters.
So as an exercise in the sport of learning to grow my own self confidence and therefore release the heart-string tug of the ego. I decided that growing MY hair, would be one way to practice this. Okay, is that too long a story for Wal-Marts?? 🙂
See, MY hair? Well, I like it, cause it’s mine… but, I’m guessing lots of guys may keep this head shaved as to not show off such a strong recedence; Or not choose to walk around not knowing how what it’s up to today, because it’s got a crazy curl somedays and other days waves; Or most men, may not want to re-learn to use shampoo and conditioner after going with just soap for lots of years… but the whole point here is to
s-t-r-e-t-c-h, risk and release forever, my former identity!
I knew that I would receive funny looks, or jokes or whatever cracks people may come up with… Heck, I had been the bald-headed, goatee guy for a long time! And I was right about the comments! But I MUST learn to roll with these types of things. If I am to get to the places I want to be, to enrich the lives others along with my own, I can’t be afraid that someone out there isn’t going to like something I am doing, or how I look, or how I’m dressed or whatever… and one way I’ve chosen grow my own self-esteem is through this simple act of letting it all grow wild! 🙂
And just in case you’re wondering, No, the long hair doesn’t have to become my new identity. Ideally, a flexible me, that can change and be comfortable in whatever moment is the ultimate goal. That’s why it’s okay to post these pics, they are just pictures. They do not tell my whole story. They do not speak to the whole of me. It’s just one windy day and a some photoshoppin’. I happen to like ’em!
Now back to the page, in the new book, Time Warrior, that I happened to arrive at today; a blog day; a day I am needing inspiration… (thanks again Big Guy! – he always comes through when I need it!) The author Steve Chandler, who I already feel a strong connection with!, starts Chapter 24 with:
“Try Risking Your Identity”
The quote at the beginning is:
“You have to be able to risk your identity for a bigger future than the present you are living.” – Fernando Flores
…and now from Steve, “That’s what has to happen for an individual to go from pretty okay to absolutely great – at whatever endeavor. A person must lose that freaking identity because it’s his worst enemy.
Be who you need to be in that moment. And then be willing to change that in a heartbeat.
Just as the samurai would die before going into battle, you will want to do the same: die to who you are. Let your cherished, built-up personality pass away.
This ego, this personality, this identity was finished being made up for most people in junior high school. Therefore it’s just full of adolescent fear, worry and anxious hope…”
he then later cites Ken Wilber, on this ego of ours we use for an identity:
“If we are going to insist on identifying with just the little self in here, then others are going to bruise it, insult it, injure it. The ego, then, is kept in existence by a collection of emotional insults; it carries its personal bruises as the fabric of its very existence. It actively collects hurts and insults, even while resenting them, because without its bruises it would be, literally, nothing.”
So… here on wierdforgood.com, we are all about the “Risking of Our Identity”. When you feel the freedom of letting go of the heavy weight of who you used to be… when you learn that you really can fly… then, you can jump aboard the strong cool breeze and soar to wherever your heart feels compelled to go!
“The question isn’t, Who is going to let me; it’s Who is going to Stop me?”
– Ayn Rand
Seems to Work for Me!
Thanks for checking in this week at www.weirdforgood.com! I LOVE having you here!